PLEASE NOTE : IF ANYONE CALLING FROM A MOBILE cO. & ASKS U TO TYPE #09 OR #90. PLZ DO NOT DO SO. CUT THE CALL, COZ ITS AN ATTEMPT OF "TERRORIST" TO MAKE USE OF YOUR NUMBER TO MAKE UNWANTED CALLS .
CERTIFIED BY ALL BIG NEWS CHANNEL.......
(IT'S NOT A JOKE AT ALL )
****
Santa: gajini me amir ne itni solid body kaise banayi ?
Banta : Jab wo gym se wapas aata tha to 15 min k bad bhul jata tha or fir wapas gym jata tha...
#
Wife: Sirf mere Liye he Paan kyon Le Rahe Ho?
Apne Liye Bhi Le Lo?
Husband: Main Bina Paan khaye bhi chup reh sakta huin.
#
1 ladke ne Ladki se uska naam pucha....
Ladki ne kaha mera naam note me likha hai.
Note me likha tha -
"date 07/09/2010"
msg expert ho to ladki ka naam batao...
#
Celebrate ...
Gussa Day....
Meri kon si baat hai jo aapko gussa dilati hai?
Reply dil khol ke....
I will never mind
Golden Chance
Reply right now.
#
I m flower My Rose is U
I m Diamond My kohinoor is U
I M Sky my moon is U
I M river My boat is U
I m Just a tree & bandar is U.
#
Hey Sleeping Bird,
Come back from the dreams.
New day has been started
Welcome to another lovely Morning !
Have A NICE DAY !
GooD Morning
#
Sardar Ki beti - Papa kal apke ghar se 1 member kam ho jayega
Next Day sardar ki beti bhag gayi
Sardar - ladki ne kaam to galat kia par thi wo
"JYOTISHI " !!!
#
Arz Hai....
Table pe mujse gir gayi bottle me bhari syahi,
gaur karna....
Table pe mujse gir gayi bottle me bhari syahi,
That's d reason "more piya mose bolat nahi".
#
Facebook addiction: Dad send this scrap to son:
Son,
How r U ?
Ur Mom & i m F9 & v mis u a lot
V wsh 2 c u
So
Plz turn off ur PC & cm downstairs 2 hv dinner.
#
Santa : Doctor mai subah 9 baje uth ta hu to mujhe sans lene me takliff hoti hai.
Doctor : Beta Jaldi utha karo sari oxygen to baba ramdev aur unke chele khich lete hai.
#
Nazro ki pyaas kuch aur hoti hai,
kasmo me baat kuch aur hoti hai,
Kaun chahata hai kuch kehna,
Bina kahe samjh jane ki baat kuch aur hoti hai.......
#
kisi ki umid me wo aise khoye the,
palko se pata chala wo rat bhar roye the,
dhimi si ahat se unke karib jana chaha - jane
kyun laga wo hume yaad karte karte soye the.
#
Hum umido ki duniya basate rahe,
wo bhi pal pal hame aazmate rahe.
jab mohabbatme dono k marne ka waqt aaya,
hum mar gaye aur wo muskurate rahe...
#
Khushiyon ki aarzu me muqaddar so gaye,
andhi asesi chali ki apne bhi kho gaye,
kya khoob tha unka andaz -e mohabbat,
pyar dene aye the aur palke bhigo gaye.....
#
Aaz bhi unki nazaron me raaz wohi tha
chehre wohi the
chehre ka libas wohi tha
kaise main usko bewafa keh doon
yaron aaj bhi uske dekhne kaa andaaz bhi wahi tha...
#
kaun kehta hai judai hogi,
ye affwah kisi dushman ne udai hogi,
thaat se rahenge hum aapke dil me,
itne dino mein kuch jagah to hum ne bhi to banai hogi...
#
"AAINA kuch nahi nazar kaa dhokha hai,
nazar wahi aata hai jo "DIL" me hota hai.
"AAINA aur "DIl" ka ek hi fasana hai anjam dono ka toot kar bikhar jana hota hai.....
#
Breaking News: Octopus Paul in Coma...
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Doctor Says: Mental Trauma
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Santa asked him a question
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"Babaji wen will INDIA reach FIFA Finals?"
#
Santa ke Ghar Mehman AAYE hue the
Santa : thanda peoge ya garam?
Mehman : Thanda
Santa : Rooh Afza ya pepsi?
Mehmaan : pepsi
Santa : Bottle mein ya glass me.
Mehman : Glass me
Santa : simple glass me ya design wale.
MMehman : Desgn wale
Santa : Line wale ya flower wale.
Mehman : Flower wale.
Santa : Chameli ke flower wale ya rose ke flower wale
Mehman: Rose wale.
Santa : Sorry yaar aisa glass to hamare paas nahi hai...
#
Zid sehne ki bhi had hoti hai,
hamse door rehne ki bhi had hoti hai,
tu bhi SMS karke ki koshish kar liya kar dost,
freee mein SMS padhne ki bhi had hoti hai...
#
Love is life is msg ko aage padhne se pehle koi ek wish mango !
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.Mang Li
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Pakka na Mang li
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Ab puri tab hogi jab ye msg 11 logon ko frwd karoge...
#
Jo humesha hasta rehta ho usko HUS + Mukh kehte hai par jiska hasna
hamesha ke liye band ho gaya ho use kya kahenge?
Got it No ???
HUS + Band
#
Santa Aapni biwi ke office gaya to dekha biwi boss ki god mein
baithi thi.
Santa Bola: chal Banto aisi jagah kaam nahi karna jahan staff ke liye
kusri bhi na ho ."
#
Girl : Meri skin bahut soft and sensitive hai,
aur rang bhi bahut gora hai....
Main sone se pehle kya laga ke soya karun?
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Doctor: KUNDI!!!
#
Zindagi ka first kapda NAPPY
Usme jeb nahi?
Aur last kapda Kafan saala usme bhi jeb nahi?
to zindagi bhar jeb bharne k liye itni bhag daud kyun?
#
height of Fashion: A two month old baby goes 2 a huggies outlet
asking 4 ........... ( Guess WAT?)...
Asking 4a low waist NAPPY.....
#
Santa : oye tu pappita bechne wali nu kiss kyun kitta?
Banta : mai ki kara ohi bar bar chillari si Pappi te le lo
Pappi te le lo ... maine le li !!!
#
Santa ke beta ka accident ho gaya.
Doctor: Aapke bete k dono leg katni padegi?
Santa: Apna sir pakad lia.
Doctor : Kya hua?
Santa : Kal hi nalayak ko nayi chapal dilayi thi....
#
Santa dialled a phone no.
A computerized female voice said " aapke pass paryapt balance nahi hai "
Santa : Bas janeman ... tumse baat ho jati hai itna hi kaafi hai !!!!
#
Wife takes seriously ill husband to doctor....
Doctor says 2 wife : Fix him healthy breakfast daily, be pleasant & in gud mood
Cook tasty dinner & dn't discuss ur prblm wid him.
if u can do dis 3 months, ur hsbnd will be ok.
On way home, Husbnd asks wife: What did doc say?
Wife: Doctor ne to jawab de diya !!!
#
labo ki hasi tere naam kar denge,
Har khushi tere naam kar denge...
jis din hogi kami mere pyaar mein, zindagi ko maut ke naam kar denge...
#
Beauty does not create real Love But....
real Love creates beauty...
Break everything for a heart But
never break a Heart for anything ...!
#
Savere savere ho khushiyo ka mela,
na logo ki parwah na duniya ka jhamela
panchiyon ka sangeet ho or mausam albela,
mubarak ho aapko ye khubsurat savera ....
GOOD MORINING!!!!
(A.)
INDIAN GIRL: Mere 4 Bhai aur 6 Behne hain aap ki kitni hai.....
Amrican Girl : Mere Bhai, Behen ka to pata nahi per
pehli mom se 3 papa hain aur pehle papa se 4 mom hain.
(B.)
A lovely thought - Worries r like birds, let dem fly over u.
But Don't give them a chance to build a NEST on ur head ......
(C.)
Ek Delicious SMS:
Ek bar ek ladke ko patli POTTI ho rahi thi.
Isse dekhkar 1 PIG Bhagta Hua Ghar Chala Gaya....
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.Pata Hai Kyun ?
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Straw Lene.........So Sweet Na....!
(D.)
So Delicious Answer -
Ek baar Ek Aadmi su su karke uspe khada hokar khub pose de raha tha logon ne pucha kaun ho bhai
He replied
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Su-par-man
(E.)
A tiger killed a sardar in Zoo,
A monkey asked y did u particularly killed a sardar in d crowd.
Tiger aur nahi to kya karta, Saala kab se keh raha tha itni badi BILLI....
(F.)
As I watch d ants crawl up d wall !
I notice dat No matter how busy dey r dey still stop & communicate wid 1 another.
Hope v can be busy like dm --- But in touch Forever.....
(G.)
A really smart statement by me.....
" I may not always love all d girls, who love me but I surely do respect their Choice....."
(H.)
Agar Koi baat Bigad Jaye......
Agar koi mushkil pad jaye....
to
to
to
to
to
to
to
to
to
Main kya karoon ....... Harkate hi tumhari aisi hain.....
(I.)
Badhti mehngai :
Aaj se 25 Saal Baad
Chawal - 2Rs./Dana
Gehu - 1Rs./Dana
Tel - 6Rs/Per boond.
"Koi 3 Item lene per Desi Ghee muft Sunghaya Jayega..."
(J.)
Ab Har Ghar me Paida hoga chota Abhishek kyu ki....
Zee Cinema dekhne wali har aurat
kehti hai...
"SHANIVAR KI RAAT" AMITABH KE SAATH"..........
(K.)
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What r u searching?
BHARAT BAND ......
(L.)
Log kehte Hai ...!
"Agar Acche Logo ko Yaad Kiya Jaye To Waqt Bhi Accha Gujarata Hai....
So....." Miss me every Time......
(M.)
In Future How will I identify ur kids in classroom ?
I will just check who is erasing his notes wen d teacher is cleaning d board & i will know d legend is back........
(N.)
GEETA MEIN LIKHA HAI.
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Phone Me Nahi,
GEETA mein Likha hai.....
(O.)
kick off ur shoes,
take a break,
crank d tunes,
dance & shake,
Light d candles,
Cut d cake..
Make it a day,
that's simply Great !!!
Happy Birthday....
(P.)
True Saying:
Only two person in dis earth will be extremely Happy....
One who gets everything in Love...
&
d one who does not know what is love...
(Q.)
Heart Attack PJ:
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Aasman ko alvida kaise kahoge ???
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.Socho
Socho .
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Thoda Dimaag Laga Ke Socho...
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Batao "TATA SKY"....!!
(R.)
Uper wale ka dia sab kuch hai.....
Mobile Hai
Network Hai
Balance Hai
Itna rutba diya h ki kisi ko bhi miss call karu to msgs ki line lag sakti hai.
kami hai to bus aapke msg ki....
(S.)
Jab Main Choti thi na ...
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Tab bhi aise hi sab ko tang karti thi.....
(T.)
Chuhe ko billi lagi gori dono milne lage chori chori
Chuha bola aa khele aankh micholi
Billi ne Chuheko khaya, marte marte wo bola
I HATE LUV STORY..........
(U.)
Only 4 Boys -
Arz kiya hai -
Khuda bacahaye hume in hasino se,
Khuda bacahaye hume in hasino se,
lekin in hasino ko kaun bachayega hum Kamino Se......!!!
(V.)
Marriages r made in heaven......
But...
The Maintenance charges have to be paid on earth !
(W.)
killer Shayari
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Tumhari Adaon pe wari wari....
wah wah
wah wah
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Tumhari Adaon pe wari wari....
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.Dial *123# for balance enquiry
(X)
KATIL - try karna mujhe umar qaid nHo Fansi nai
Sardar Lawyer : Don't Worry...
After Court,
KATIL - Kya Hua?
Sardar - Bahut mushkil se umar qaid mili, sale riha kar rahe the...
(Y.)
Eyes speak more when a heart starts listenning to some1 silently,
& life seems to become more beautiful when some1 starts reading your eyes silently.....
(Z.)
Banta : Doctor, aap to kehte hai k subah game khelne se health acchi ho jayegi but mujhe to koi fayda nahi hua....
Doctor - Kaun sa game khela?
Banta : Mobile pe saanp waala.....
(AA.)
Saccha pyaar hamesha galat insaan se hota hai
Aur jab sacche insaan se hota hai, tab sala galat waqt pe hota hai.....
Kya bidu painful but its true....
(AB.)
Teri Dosti me deewane ho gaye,
Tujhe apna Banate - Banate Begane ho gaye....
Pukar le ek baar pyaar se mere dost,
Dhenchu Dhenchu ki aawaz sune zamane ho gaye.....
(AC.)
Mango,
Orange,
Banana,
Grapes or Apple,
Which is sweet ?
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Guess Plz...
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Don't Know?
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. Buddhu ye sab sweet nahi, fruit hain
Sweet to aap hain !!!
(AD.)
What is Pyar?
P - Pal Pal Pagal Hona,
Y - Yaaro ko bhul Jaana,
A - Apne Aaapko satana,
R - Roz Roz Rona Dhona,
Is liye Dn't Pyar....
(AE.)
Ab ki bar itni garmi kyo pad rahi he?
kya aapko pata he...?
To janiye...
kyunki Shoaib Malik Saniya ko le gaya issliye yaha sab sulag rahe hain.....
(AF.)
1 ladka 1 ladki ke saath baitha tha
2nd day dusri ladki ke saath
3rd day koi aur ladki thi...
Moral Ladkiyan badal jati hain par ladke nahi badalte .......
(AG.)
Breaking Newz....
Wat will be "Sakshi's full name after marring MS Dhoni ...
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Ans is : SMS DHONI....
(AH.)
Bujho to jane - Aisi kaunsi baat hai jo Rawan akele me kar sakta hai par RAM nahi ???
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GROUP DISCUSSION.....!
(AI.)
Aaapko pata hai aaj kauna special day hai ?
Aaj TITANIC ki 94th anniversary hai...
So plz sab pyaar karne walo se guzarish hai ki
DOOB MARO !!!
(AJ.)
Height of Yaakk !
Boy while kissing his GF -
Thank u jaan, apna chewing gum mujhe dene k liye....
GF: Chewing gum nahi hai luv, I'm suffering from Cough.....
(AK.)
,,,,,,,,,,
( --- __ ---)
Ye Mera Sir Hai
Dabane ke liye Thanks Bahut Dard ho raha tha....
(AL.)
4wd dis 2 whom u care - Dnt eat MAGGI,
Chinese,
any Ice Cream,
N Chocolate,
Bec'z it will cause severe stomach pain when u eat dem.....
"WITHOUT ME"!!!
(AM.)
Diff. B/w BAD & Worse:
Bad is when ur parents find ur last night's used condoms....
Worse is when u have 2 eat it to prove it's a chewing gum !
(AN.)
Jab se mobile me Hanuman Chalisa Dwnld karvaya hai,
Tabse tumhara msg band ho gaye hai...
Sach hi kehte hai k
" BHOOT PISACH NIKAT NAHI AAVE MAHAVIR JAB NAAM SUNAVE"
(AO.)
Jabse hai dekha tumhe neend nahi aati
Mujhe jab bhi yaad aati hai tumhari dilse ek awaz h aati,
JAL TU JALAL TU AAYI BALA KO TAAL TU....
(AP.)
Gunde ka beta oral exam me fail ho gaya to baap se bola : un logo ne 3 ghante tak meri puch tach ki magar apun bhi teri aulad hai sala muh tak nahi khola.....
(AQ.)
1 ko 1 se kaise joda jaye ke wo 3 ho jaye ?
Simple, Dono ka VIVAH karwa do
Accha ab Batao
1 ko 1 se kaise jode k wo 8 Ho jaye?
Is Bar, dono kaa NIKAH Karwa do ....!
(AR.)
Bhakt: Swamiji, aisi patni ko kya kahenge jo gori ho, sexy ho, beautiful ho, acchi cook ho, pati ko samjhe aur kabhie jealousy na kare
Swamiji: AFWAH
(AS.)
WOH TO PANI KI BOOND HAI JO ankho se beh jaye, ansu to wo hai jo tadap k aankho me hi reh jaye,
wo dard kya jo lafzo mein bayan ho,,,,
dard wo hai jo aanko me nazar aaye....
(AT.)
duriya bahut hai par itna samajh lo ki paas reh kar bhi koi rishta khas nahi hota,
dur rah kar bhi tum dil ke pass ho itna ki duriyo ka mujhko ab ehsas nahi hota...
(AU.)
Wo yaaron ki mehfil wo muskurate pal....
Dil se juda apna bita hua kal....
kabhie zindgi gujri thi waqt bitane mei,
aaj waqt gujar jata chand sikke kamane me....
(AV.)
Har insaan dil ka bura nahi hota...
Har utha hua haath dua ka nahi hota....
bujh jate hai diye aksar apni hi galtiyon se,
har bar kasur hawa ka nahi hota.....
(AW.)
Jo pal pal jale wo roshini,
jo pal pal maheke woh khushboo
jo pal pal dhadke woh dil
jo pal pal yaad aaye woh aap
aur jo aapko har pal yaad kare woh
HUM...!!!!
(AX.)
An intelligent girlfrnd is one who makes sure that she makes her boyfrnd spend so much, that he can't afford another girl in his life.....
(AY.)
Of Ho !
Dosti ka sara kaam mujhe hi karna padta hai
miss b
care b
sms b
ab ek kaam aap bhi kardo !
ek sweet se smyl de do or mujhe jeeney do
oye hoye kya smyle hai.....
(AZ.)
sardar: bachpan me maa ki baat suni hoti to aaj ye din na dekhna padta....
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Judge: Kya kehti thi Maa?
Sardar: Jab baat hi nahi suni to kaise bataun...
some translations in hindi u'll surely luv.
a. yo baby! wasup?-arre munni!ye upar kya hai?
b. listen buddy, dat chick is mine - suno dost, wo murgi ka baccha mera hai?
c. r u nuts - kya aap akhrot hain?
d. rock d party baby - pathar maro jashn mein bachhi.
e. lets hangout! - chalo bahar latakte hain
2.
Do not Take Rest after a success beacz if u fail next time so many lips are waiting 2 say that ur previous victory was luck.
3.
Expression of face acn be read by a whole world but d depression of heart can be understood by only special one...so d'ny loose in life
4.
Silene & smile r 2 powerful tools. Smile is d way 2 solve many problems and silenc is da way to avoid many prblms. So have a silent smile always. :-)
5.
Aap ki muskan kabhie hothon se na choothe. Duniya me aapse koi na ruthe, meherbaan ho khuda itna aap per k aasman k taare b aap ki marzi se tute.
6.
Kamine Kamine Kamine Kamine Kamine Kamine Kamine Kamine Kamine Kamine Kamine Kamine Kamine Kamine Kamine Kamine Kamine Kamine Kamine Kamine Kamine Kamine Kamine Kamine Kamine Kamine Kamine Kamine Kamine Kamine Kamine Kamine Kamine Kamine Kamine Kamine Kamine Kamine Kamine Kamine Kamine Kamine Kamine Kamine Kamine Kamine Kamine Kamine Kamine Kamine Kamine Kamine Kamine Kamine Kamine
Aap ki "kami ne" hame itna pareshan kar diya ki humko messgae karna hi pada..................
7.
Pagal (Chinese Se) Tum American Ho?
Chinese: Nahi m Chinese Hun.
Pagal: Nahi tum American ho.
Chinese: Gusse me Haan M American hun.
Pagal: Lagte to Chinese ho.
8. Yo raaton ko na jaago so liya karo, dil me aansu na roko ro liya karo, hair style to bahut accha bana lete ho, kabhie 2 muh bhi dho liye karo.
9. A Naughty Kid was siting on d pot, but potty was no coming.
After Many efforts he got frustuated and shouted- ab aaja kamine m tujhe kha todi jaunga...
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Maa Kasam Mujhe Bhi Khali Mila Tha......
11. Agar Balance ho tabhie Aage padhna
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Aapko Hunuman ji ki kasam ye sms 15 logon ko bhejo Nahi to ashubh ho jayega...
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Mujhe Bhi Fasaya Gaya hai.
12. Isko Kehte Hain....
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Mere Sms ko padhne Ka junoon
I like it.........
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13.
Student - Aasman me Kaali Ghata Chayi hai. Aaj fir principal se maar khayi hai.
sb kehte hain ki sudhar jao.
par kaise sudhren
madam aaj phir Rakhi Sawant ban kar aayi hai.
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14. Ek Bacha Ghar se mar khakar Gusse m school ja raha tha raste me kissi ne pucha - Beta Padhne Jaa Rahe Ho?
Bacha- Haram Khor tu kya School Dress Me Banana Bechne jata Hai...
.
15.
Son was Crying.
Dad Came & asked " Why r u crying? Tell me i m ur friend na?"
Son: " Kuch nahi yaar! Horlicks Jyada Maan Liya to tere wali ne Maara...!
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16.
Hamesha Rab se wo mango jo aapki kismat me ho,
Wo nahi jo aap chahte ho,
Kyunki ho sakta hai ki aapki Khwahish kam ho magar aapki kismat me zyada likha ho...?
.
17.
Us paar hi sahi "kinara" to hai? ...
timtimata hi sahi "sitara to hai"
aapki yaad se hi tasali?
Dur hi sahi koi hamara to hai.
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.18.
Jhuki Palkon se unka didar kiya.
Sab kuch bhula k unka intezar kiya.
vo jaan hi na paye kabhi jazbat mere...
jise duniya me sabse jyada pyaar kiya...
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19. A health Forum Speaker asks: "Which food Causes the kost suffering for years after eating it? After a long silnce. an old man answered "Wedding Cake".
.20. There were 2 Frnds JO & Wo.
One day Jo get scared seeing a snake.
Suddenly Wo died.
Why did WO die?
Bec'z
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JO dar gaya
WO mar gaya
.21. Char Line Pesh Kar Raha HuPasand AAye to taliyan baja kar ashirwad de kar navaziega
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Shukriya.
.22. The Most sentimental PJ ever....
Maa: Beta, ajkal light ka bil jyada kyun aa raha hai...?
Beta: Main kabhie batlata nahi... par andhere se darta hun main maa.!
.23. Son: Mom mein khwab vich dekhiya ki mera ik per zamin utte --- te dusra aasman te hai...
Mom: is tarah de khwab na dekha kr puttar --- nikkar fat jayegi...
.24. Why smart people always say dey r busy
think
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I will tell u later
Right now i m busy...!!
.25. Aaj international handsome boys N beautiful Girls day h, so ye msg unko bhej jo aapki nazar m smart or cute hai, but be honest, meri tarah kisi se majak mat karna!
.26. Jab bhi taaron ne chand se guftagu ki hai, Dua humne aapke liye Bawazu ki hai....
Khuda Nawaze her khushi se aapko,
bas yahi hamme rab se aarzu ki hai....
.27. 3Idiots vs Mahabharat
Yashomati maiya se bole nandlala
Wah Wah!
Yashomati maiya se bole nandlala
Concentrated H2so4 ne pura bachpan hi jala dala
.28. Father: Tipu Sultan Kon Tha?
Son: Pata Nahi!
F: Padai pe dhyan do to pata chale .....
Son: narang uncle kaun hai?
F: Pata nahi!
Son: Biwi pe dhyan to pata chale!...
.29. Hathoda of the Day 1
Gandhiji marne se pehle kaun the......
ZINDA
the aur kya they....
.30.
Ladka: Tumhari Zulfon se khelne ko ji chahata hai.?
Ladki ne wig utari or kaha:
Lo khel lo per de dena subah university bhi jana hai.
.31.
Always Remember....
When She cancels a Date , It is Bc'z "SHE HAS TO"
But
When he cancels a date, It is Bc'z "HE HAS TwO"
.32. Suna hai aapki muskurahat pe har koi marta hai.
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zara time nikal kar aana to
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.ek chuha marna hai...
.33.
JB TOHAR YAD AWELA TO TOHAR SMS PADH LENI, JB TOKE DEKHE K MAN KRELA TO ANKH MUND LENI, AR JB TOHAR AWAZ SUNE K MN KRELA TO KUKUR K EK DHELA MAR DENI. ....MAZA AWELA?
.34.
O mero jaan! banaras k paan.
dosti ki aan
pyaar ki shaan
hathi k kaan
chawal k dhan,
mere butter naan
maan ya na maan,
but i really
Miss u shaitan......
.35.
govt. school ke bache kisi ko ghaseet kar school le jaa rahe the
ye dekh
1aadmi bola: jane do beta ye khud school aa jayega.
bacche:ye bacha nai master hai....
.36.
A boy was doing math homework,
"2 + 2 son bitch is 4"
mom was shocked.
she went to d teacher
teacher said: V teach
"2 + 2 sum of which is 4"
.37.
Master: tumne homework nahi kiya, batao kya saza dun?
child: wo ladki jo last seat pe bathi hai, uske saath bathroom me band kar do.....
.38.
Gf to BF - i m pregnant
Bf - r u sure its mine
Gf - starts crying n says agar sab aise bolenge to kaise chalega yaaar
.39.
Log kehte hain k dukh bura hota hai,
jab aata hai tab rulata hai,
magar hum kehte hain dukh accha hota hai,
jab aata hai to apno ki pehchan to karata hai......
.40.
Arz kiya hai ......
na lakhon m na hazaaron me,
na chand m na taron m,
hamne aapko dekha hai
chappal churate bazaron m......
.41.
A story of Intelligent man
On Saturday, a man wid a sexy girl entered a jwellery shop & chose a ring worth Rs. 2 Lacs 4 her
Gave a chq and said he will collect ring on Mon after d chq is cleared.
On Monday,
Jweller called d man - ther's no money in ur a/c...
Man: I know can u imagine wat a weekend i enjoyed..........
.42.
Santa ko interview me pucha gaya - aapko kitne saalo ka experience hai ?
Santa - Sir, Saalo ka to nahi per 3 saalio k saath 15 saal ka experience hai !
.43.
I ask God to give a frnd who is smart, charming, cute, intelligent n adorable...
then he send u to me.
bus tab se mera god se vishwas hi uth gaya....
.44.
"aaj thursday hai"
is msg ko 10 logon ko bhejo.
blv me 7 dino baad fir thursday aa jaega!!!
it really works, try it!
ignore kiya to kal friday aa jayega.!
.45.
teacher bache kaa lunch kha gaya aur bola beta ghar jake mera naam to nahi bataoge?
bacha masumiyat se :
me mummy se kahunga k meri roti kutta kha gaya...
.46.
koi
new
msg
hai
kya,
agr,
hai
to
"dabur honey" laga ke din me 2 baar chaato, kyunki bhejte to aap ho nahi .... !
47.
1 ladka apne papa ki shaadi ki CD dhekte hue - papa, mujhe bhi apni shadi me item girl nachani hai aapki shaadi ki tarah.
papa - haramkhor
ye sab teri bua log hain....
.48.
katrina kaif ne ramdev baba se pucha ki sundar ladki ko nahane se pehle kya lagana chahiye....
ramdev baba bole:
bathroom ki kundi......
.49.
3 places where a human can't die
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1. heaven
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.2. hell
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3. star plus
.50.
ummidon per kabhi bharosa naa karo
jo lamhe bure lage unhe socha na karo
kami mehsus ho jiski uska khayal mat karna,
khud me khaas ho ye hamesha yaad rakhna...
.51.
lamha lamha waqt gujar jayega,
7 feron k saath koi tumse bandh jaega
abhi bhi waqt hai
dost kisi ko patalo kya
pata kal kisika pataya hua mal tumhe sop diya jayega...
.52.
aasman fata or dharti hil gayi,
aapne socha humse mukti mil gayi,
are hum jara se busy kya hue
aap ne maan liya ki chalo musibat hi tal gayi
.53.
i'm getting married next month
there would be a small party
and
only a few people will be invited.
don't bring any gift.
just bring someone to -
Marry me......!
.54.
train me ek sardar ka 50 rupaiye kho gaya.
tabhie ek musulman bola :
ya allah bismilla.
sardar: are miya 20 mila to baki 30 khan gaya....
.55.
Santa plane land hote hi chilane laga.
"Banglore aaya, Banglore aaya
balle balle"
Air hostess: hello sir, B silent !
Santa : ok, anglore aaya, anglore aaya Alle Alle !...
.56.
Santa went 2 battery shop n asked 2 change battery
Shopkeeper : Exide laga du?
Santa: dusri side kaun tera baap lagayega...?
.57.
Long Long ago, those people who scarified their money, time, sleep, family, food, laughter were called saints...!
But, now they r called "Boyfriends"
.58.
Beat dis pj....
Who can tel d future of Aaamir Khan ?
Ans: "KOENA MITRA"
bcz
Aamir sings in 3 idiots "Koena jane apna future kya hoga !"
.59.
Bacha teacher se: Aap mujhe badi acchi lagti ho...
M Aapse shaadi karna chahata hun....
Madam gusse se: mujhe bachon se sakht nafrat hai
Bacha: m koshish karunga k bache naa ho !
.60.
Dimag aur dil me utna hi farak hai jitna phonebook aur inbox me ..!
Phonebook me hazaron milte hain lekin
inbox me sirf apne hi milte hain....
check kar lo....
.61.
Definition of Trust: Giving someone d authority 2 destroy u completely....
but having d confidence dat he wld never do it..!
.62.
Child : papa aunty ka pait kyun phoola hai?
Father : tujhe sab pata hai !
Child : Nahi pata ! Promise
Father : in ke pet m paani bhara hai.
Child: Oh No ! Bacha to doob jayega...
.63.
Na maine koi gurur kiya aur na apne koi kusur kiya....
bus waqt ne hamai dur kiya...
maine ye sms isliye kiya kyonki aapki yaad ne majboor kiya...
.64.
Girl Kisses a boy on his cheeks and the boy gets a mark of lipstick
Boy : Ye kya Kiya ?
Girl:
Kuch accha karne se agar daag lagte hain to daag acche hain na.....
.65.
" B Simple But Stylish.
B Tough but look Soft
B tensed but look cool
B a beginer but look like a Winner...
That's d way 2 live.....
.66
World's thinnest book is published titled what a woman wants
It has only 1 page with only 1 Word
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Everything !
.67.
Dost ruthe to rab ruthe.
Fir ruthe to jag chutte.
Agar fir ruthe to dil tute
Aur agar phir b ruthe to uttar chappal !
Maar sale ko jab tak chappal na tute. !
.68.
Never Ignore sum1 who cares 4 u.
Bec'z sum day u may find dat u hav lost an uncut Diamond
when u were busy in collecting shinning stones.
.69.
Santa ke ghar Navjot singh Siddhu ki tasvir lagi hui thi.
Banta: ye kyu laga rakhi hai?
santa: laughing buddha lene gaya tha , dukandar ne kaha ye latest hai.....
.70.
Patient to nurse: I love u, tumne mera dil chura liya.
Nurse (sharmate Hue) : Chal Jhoote dil ko to haath bhi nahi lagaya, humne to
kidney churai hai.
.71.
A woman was kidnapped !
The kidnapper sent a piece of her finger to her husband & demanded money.
Husband replied......
" I want more proof"....!
.72.
Dard bhara sher:
Gaur farmana -
jab yaad uski aati hai to sandas me beth k ro lete hain,
aur jab dibba aansuo se bhar jata he to usi se dho lete hain....
.73.
Sardar to Taxi driver : Siddhivinayak Mandir Jaoge kya????
Taxi Driver : Haan Sahab....
Sardar- theek hai wapas aate waqt mere liye prasad lete aana ....!
.74.
Pyar karne ki apni ek reet hai....
pyar ka dusra hi naam to preet hai ...
isliye try maro ladka/ladki par,
kyonki....
"darr ke aage hi jeet hai....!!!\
.75.
To hear wat is unspoken,
to see wat is unseen,
to feel widout even touching is disease called "
"""" SCHIZOPHRENIA.
n people think its love !!!
SIlly World!
.76.
Teacher give a good example for Import & Export .....
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Student:
Sonia & Sania.....!!!
.77.
Sardar electric shop me : 2 pankhe dena 1 ladies or 1 gents.
Salesman: Pankhon mein ladies gents nahi hote
Sardar: Kaise nahi hote
1 bajaj ka de or
1 USha ka......
.78.
Jab Khayal Kiya to Khayal Bhi Tera Aaya.
Jab Ankhein Band ki khawab bhi tere aaye...
Socha yaad kar lu us khuda ko, magar honth khule to naam bhi
Tera Aaya......!
79.
Best Saying By Henry Ford:
"progress is not made by Hard Works !
But by lazy people, coz dey try 2
find easier ways of doing d same work"
PROUD TO BE A LAZY
80.
heart touching quote
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.If v loose pen v can buy new one but,
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if we loose pen cap we cant buy new one......!
really emotional !
81.
Pandit - tumhare Jeewan me 6 ladkiyan Aayengi.
Boy : WOW! Kya Baat hai.......
Pandit - Jyada khush hone ki baat nahi hai,
1 Gharwali or
5 Betiiyan hai.....
82.
Santa : kal maine South -X me apni girlfrnd ko kiss kiya to vo boli
" aap isse b aage jaa sakte ho "
Banta : Fir ????
Santa : Fir Kya, Mai use Noida tak ghuma laya....
83.
Ek Sher Arj hai,
Osa Hai Gosa Hai
Barish Ka bosa hai,
Wah Wah ....
Osa Hai Gosa Hai
Barish Ka bosa hai,
Manga tha Samosa Laya tu Dosa hai !!!!
84.
Being Near is not d meaning of being Dear,
I may be Far from u but msgs r bridges 2 make u feel dat I
always
REMEMBER U !!!!!!
85.
Best Traffic Advertisement of d year:
picture of Lord Ganesha with saying :
" cARE 4 UR HEAD, NOT EVERYONE GETS A REPLACEMENT LIKE ME ...."
86.
330 boys dies by heart attack....
&
570 boys r admitted in hospital
Ab ye batao kisne afwah falai hai...
k...
Meri engagement ho gayi hai...
Tum log bhi na had karte ho ......!!!
87.
aami me tomar
Chin
Chin
Chin
Chin
Chin
Chin
Chin
Chin
Sudhu je amar
Chin
Chin
Chin
Chin
Chin
Chin
Chin
Chin
frwd dis matra 2
7 Bhootni or bhoots as i did
& get ur luv b4 dis amavasya
Jai MONJOLIKA.......!!!
88.
Dil ki dhadkan bacha k rakhna,
Apne Inbox ko zara saja k rakhna,
kabhie bhi aa sakta hai hamara sweet sms,
isliye zara chirkuton ka sms hata k rakhna....
89.
Earlier :
Love starts wid eyes
grews wid gifts
end wid tears
Now
Love Starts wid cell phns
grew wid msgs
ends wid
"upbhogta kisi aur call par vyast hai "
90.
Banta ki Patni : Raat ko mobile charging mein kyon laga rahe ho, blast ho jayega...
banta : yaar tum chain se so jao maine battery nikaal di hai....
.91.
Height of Insult: - I like ur smile,
bc'z,
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My fav. colour is YELLOW...!!!
.92.
Word end wid
X
Y
Z
100 end wid
98
99
100
Music end wid
da
ne
sa.
But let ur day starts wid....
my SMS
Have a Good Day !
.93.
Jalandhar me ek bacha paida hua hai,
Padaish k waqt us ka weight 15 KG tha jo
badhta gaya aur 15 din bad 50 ka ho gaya...
Incredible But TRUE.....
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.Bacha Bhains kaa tha.....!!!!
.94.
Beautiful tomorrow never comes....!
When it comes, it's already TODAY !
In d hunt of beautiful tmrw, dn't waste ur wonderful
Today !!!