%%%
1 Pagal :Me is Mental hospital me naya aaya hun......
Mujhe yahan pagalon ke sardar se milna hai
2 pagal: sssshhhh....Chup Aawaz mat karo boss msg padh rahe hain..... %%%%%%
%%%%
%%%%
Search This Blog
FRESH SMS !
++++ Tom : Dekh teri biwi ko saap kat raha hai ...
Jerry : Chinta mat kar yaar, saap ka zeher khatam ho gaya hai, recharge karwane aaya hoga...
++++
\\\\////
(@..@)
(~)
Tohar passport size photowa humar ghar pe chhutal rahil....
bachha logan sab darat rahi.
Kutwa pura din bhokat raha....
ekra vapas leila....
++++ Dekho phirse barsaat aa gayi,
tanhayi me waqt bitane ki baat aa gayi
Hum to yuhin nihar rahe the barish ke pani ko,
mendak ko dekha to aapki yaad aa gayi.....
++++ Old man ladki se takraya
Old Man - Sorry
Girl - Stupid
Tabhie ek ladka us se takraya Ladka - Sorry
Girl - Its Ok
Old Man - Meri sorry ki kya spelling galat thi kya?.....
++++ Aapko suchit kiya jata hai k 24th August ko mobile band rakhen, kyonki kuch sararti ladkiyan h jo Rakhi SMS kar sakti hai.....Aaapki zara si laparwahi aapko BHAI bana sakti hai.....
++++ Zindagi se badi sazaa hi nahi aur kya jurm hai pata hi nahi .....
Itne hisson me batt gayi hoon main, mere hisse me kuch bacha hi nahi....
sach ghate ya badhe to sach na rahe, jhooth ki koi intehaan hi nahi......
jad to chandi me chahe sone me, aaenaa jhoot bolta hi nahi....
zindagi se badi sazaa hi nahi aur kya jurm hai pata hi nahi.....
++++ Arz kiya hai.....
Chahate hain hum aapse aisi dosti ka wada
Chahate hai hum aapse aisi dosti ka wada
jaise...
.
.
.
.
.
VIM baar ghule kam or chale jyaada.......
++++ Pyaar ke mamle me hum thode kacche hain,
Magar Dosti k mamle me bade sache hain....
Hamari dosti bus isi baat par kayam hai.....
Ki hamare dost humse bhi acche hain....
++++ Har jagah Toofan sa Aaya hai,
Chaaro taraf hahakar machaya hua hai,
Jisko dekho lab pe 1 hi naam chhaya hai,
Jab bhi bajti hai msg tone, to sab bolte hain lo fir se "Ashish Singhal" ka msg aaya hua hai....
++++ Any Time
Any Problem
Any Help
Just
Give ME
One Miss Call
I will
Give u
Another
"Miss Call"
.......Ha....ha...haa.....
++++ A smile is a sign of joy
A hug is a sign of Love
A laugh is a sign of happiness
&
A frnd Like me .......
Wel dats a sign
of ur Good karma of Picchle Janam... Good Day !
++++
Dost 1 aisa "Chor" Hota hai jo:
Aankho se "AANSU"
Chehre se "Pareshani"
Dil Se " Mayausi"
Zindagi se har "Dukh"
aur
Hathon ki Lakiron se "MAUT"
tak chura leta hai....
++++ Ek Din sardar ne bahut sunder ladki dekhi aur socha......
Bahut socha.....
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Kya Socha...
.
.
..
.
.
.
.
Kaash ye meri maa hoti to main bhi itna sunder hota !
++++ Har roz roshni ke hazar sitare niklen, aap ki ankhon me haseen nazare niikle, jail me hum bhi gaye aapke saath, jab aapke chori ke mobile me sabse zyada sms hamare nikle.....
++++ "GOOD MORNING"
.
.
.
.
"Just for U..."
Must for U..."
"First for U..."
.
.
.
.
.
.
"Nothing 2 Wish"
"Nothing 2 Say"
.
.
.
.
.
.
"Always be happy"
"its my pray"
.
.
.
.
.
++++ Frnds r special never go away.
They walk beside us everyday....
Unseen...
Unheard...
Missed... but
very dear... dont forget them
++++ How 2 increase positive thinking?....
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Ans: Watch fashion TV Bcz u always think theek hai ye nai gayi to agli model kuchh dikhayegi...
++++ Santa ji got a SMS from his Girl - frnd
Written as...
"I Miss U"
Santaji, ne apna dimaag laga ke do ghante baad reply bheja...
"I Mr. U" !!
++++ A good thought of d day -
Once a dad took his son to a village to show poverty....
After d trip he asked his son about poverty....., what d son replied was:-
"Dad we have one dog, dey had four .....
We have small pool, dey have long river......
We have lamps, dey have stars.....
We have small piece of land, dey have large fields...
We buy food, dey grow theirs...."
The Boy's dad dad was speechless....
Then Boy said - "Thanks Dad 4 showing me how poor we are actually........
What we learn 4m dis: Our life is set all about how we see, interpret & accept things in life......
++++ TOM jalebi bech raha tha magar keh raha tha "aalu lelo aalu !
Jerry Bola, par yaar yeh to jalebi hain....
TOM, chup sale warna makhiyan aa jayengi....
++++ Confident lines on a "WINE SHOP Board....
"MEN who love a girl truely, will one day Love Me 2.......
++++
Jerry : Chinta mat kar yaar, saap ka zeher khatam ho gaya hai, recharge karwane aaya hoga...
++++
\\\\////
(@..@)
(~)
Tohar passport size photowa humar ghar pe chhutal rahil....
bachha logan sab darat rahi.
Kutwa pura din bhokat raha....
ekra vapas leila....
++++ Dekho phirse barsaat aa gayi,
tanhayi me waqt bitane ki baat aa gayi
Hum to yuhin nihar rahe the barish ke pani ko,
mendak ko dekha to aapki yaad aa gayi.....
++++ Old man ladki se takraya
Old Man - Sorry
Girl - Stupid
Tabhie ek ladka us se takraya Ladka - Sorry
Girl - Its Ok
Old Man - Meri sorry ki kya spelling galat thi kya?.....
++++ Aapko suchit kiya jata hai k 24th August ko mobile band rakhen, kyonki kuch sararti ladkiyan h jo Rakhi SMS kar sakti hai.....Aaapki zara si laparwahi aapko BHAI bana sakti hai.....
++++ Zindagi se badi sazaa hi nahi aur kya jurm hai pata hi nahi .....
Itne hisson me batt gayi hoon main, mere hisse me kuch bacha hi nahi....
sach ghate ya badhe to sach na rahe, jhooth ki koi intehaan hi nahi......
jad to chandi me chahe sone me, aaenaa jhoot bolta hi nahi....
zindagi se badi sazaa hi nahi aur kya jurm hai pata hi nahi.....
++++ Arz kiya hai.....
Chahate hain hum aapse aisi dosti ka wada
Chahate hai hum aapse aisi dosti ka wada
jaise...
.
.
.
.
.
VIM baar ghule kam or chale jyaada.......
++++ Pyaar ke mamle me hum thode kacche hain,
Magar Dosti k mamle me bade sache hain....
Hamari dosti bus isi baat par kayam hai.....
Ki hamare dost humse bhi acche hain....
++++ Har jagah Toofan sa Aaya hai,
Chaaro taraf hahakar machaya hua hai,
Jisko dekho lab pe 1 hi naam chhaya hai,
Jab bhi bajti hai msg tone, to sab bolte hain lo fir se "Ashish Singhal" ka msg aaya hua hai....
++++ Any Time
Any Problem
Any Help
Just
Give ME
One Miss Call
I will
Give u
Another
"Miss Call"
.......Ha....ha...haa.....
++++ A smile is a sign of joy
A hug is a sign of Love
A laugh is a sign of happiness
&
A frnd Like me .......
Wel dats a sign
of ur Good karma of Picchle Janam... Good Day !
++++
Dost 1 aisa "Chor" Hota hai jo:
Aankho se "AANSU"
Chehre se "Pareshani"
Dil Se " Mayausi"
Zindagi se har "Dukh"
aur
Hathon ki Lakiron se "MAUT"
tak chura leta hai....
++++ Ek Din sardar ne bahut sunder ladki dekhi aur socha......
Bahut socha.....
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Kya Socha...
.
.
..
.
.
.
.
Kaash ye meri maa hoti to main bhi itna sunder hota !
++++ Har roz roshni ke hazar sitare niklen, aap ki ankhon me haseen nazare niikle, jail me hum bhi gaye aapke saath, jab aapke chori ke mobile me sabse zyada sms hamare nikle.....
++++ "GOOD MORNING"
.
.
.
.
"Just for U..."
Must for U..."
"First for U..."
.
.
.
.
.
.
"Nothing 2 Wish"
"Nothing 2 Say"
.
.
.
.
.
.
"Always be happy"
"its my pray"
.
.
.
.
.
++++ Frnds r special never go away.
They walk beside us everyday....
Unseen...
Unheard...
Missed... but
very dear... dont forget them
++++ How 2 increase positive thinking?....
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Ans: Watch fashion TV Bcz u always think theek hai ye nai gayi to agli model kuchh dikhayegi...
++++ Santa ji got a SMS from his Girl - frnd
Written as...
"I Miss U"
Santaji, ne apna dimaag laga ke do ghante baad reply bheja...
"I Mr. U" !!
++++ A good thought of d day -
Once a dad took his son to a village to show poverty....
After d trip he asked his son about poverty....., what d son replied was:-
"Dad we have one dog, dey had four .....
We have small pool, dey have long river......
We have lamps, dey have stars.....
We have small piece of land, dey have large fields...
We buy food, dey grow theirs...."
The Boy's dad dad was speechless....
Then Boy said - "Thanks Dad 4 showing me how poor we are actually........
What we learn 4m dis: Our life is set all about how we see, interpret & accept things in life......
++++ TOM jalebi bech raha tha magar keh raha tha "aalu lelo aalu !
Jerry Bola, par yaar yeh to jalebi hain....
TOM, chup sale warna makhiyan aa jayengi....
++++ Confident lines on a "WINE SHOP Board....
"MEN who love a girl truely, will one day Love Me 2.......
++++
SMS TO BE FORWARDED !!!
dIFFERENT STYLES OF gOOD nIGHT
Dad : Gd ngt son,
Frnd - Gd ngt yaar,
Lover - Gd ngt Jaanu,
But
MOM - " So ja kanjra, phone wali maa naal gallan swere kar liyo...."
Mom always know ......
TOm ko vodafone me operator ki job mili
1st din use maar padi
2nd day use nikal diya gaya becz 1st caller : mere vodafone ka sim block ho gaya hai....
TOM : to pagal Airtel ka kharid le....
A little bird was flying back home in winter, d bird froze & fell 2 d ground. A cow came by & dropped some dung on it. D bird began 2 realize how warm it was & soon began 2 sing wid joy. A passing cat heard d bird singing & dug d bird out, cleaned it & ate it.....
Lesson 2 learn :
1. Not everyone who drops shit on u is ur enemy.
2. Not everone who gets u out of shit is ur friend &
3. Wen u r in deep shit, keep ur mouth shut.....
1 din 1 lady shop pe TOTA kharidne gayi......
Lady - iski kya khasiyat hai ?
Dukandaar : ye bolta hai ?
Lady ne tote se pucha - main kaisi lagti hun ?
Tota : JUGAAD
Lady dukandaar se : ye toh bada badtameez hai !!
Dukandaar : Tote ko andar le gaya aur pani me duba k pucha - bol sale ab gali dega ?
Tota : Nahi kabhie Nahi dunga.
Wo use bahar le aaya aur lady se kaha ab puchiye, gali nahi dega?
Lady tote se - agar mere ghar pe 1 aadmi aye to tum kya sochoge?
Tota - aapka pati hai.
Lady - agar 2 ?
Tota - aapka pati aur devar ?
Lady - agar 3 ?
Tota - pati, devar, bhai.
lady - agar 4?
Tota - pani le aao maine to pehle hi kaha tha JUGAAD hai"
Dad : Gd ngt son,
Frnd - Gd ngt yaar,
Lover - Gd ngt Jaanu,
But
MOM - " So ja kanjra, phone wali maa naal gallan swere kar liyo...."
Mom always know ......
TOm ko vodafone me operator ki job mili
1st din use maar padi
2nd day use nikal diya gaya becz 1st caller : mere vodafone ka sim block ho gaya hai....
TOM : to pagal Airtel ka kharid le....
A little bird was flying back home in winter, d bird froze & fell 2 d ground. A cow came by & dropped some dung on it. D bird began 2 realize how warm it was & soon began 2 sing wid joy. A passing cat heard d bird singing & dug d bird out, cleaned it & ate it.....
Lesson 2 learn :
1. Not everyone who drops shit on u is ur enemy.
2. Not everone who gets u out of shit is ur friend &
3. Wen u r in deep shit, keep ur mouth shut.....
1 din 1 lady shop pe TOTA kharidne gayi......
Lady - iski kya khasiyat hai ?
Dukandaar : ye bolta hai ?
Lady ne tote se pucha - main kaisi lagti hun ?
Tota : JUGAAD
Lady dukandaar se : ye toh bada badtameez hai !!
Dukandaar : Tote ko andar le gaya aur pani me duba k pucha - bol sale ab gali dega ?
Tota : Nahi kabhie Nahi dunga.
Wo use bahar le aaya aur lady se kaha ab puchiye, gali nahi dega?
Lady tote se - agar mere ghar pe 1 aadmi aye to tum kya sochoge?
Tota - aapka pati hai.
Lady - agar 2 ?
Tota - aapka pati aur devar ?
Lady - agar 3 ?
Tota - pati, devar, bhai.
lady - agar 4?
Tota - pani le aao maine to pehle hi kaha tha JUGAAD hai"
SMS & MORE SMS
{{{{{{Boy: Jaan main tumhe Bangla, Car, Sone ka Haar dila dunga
Girl : Ye Batao, shaam ko park aa rahe ho yaa nahi.
Boy : Agar mummy ne Auto ka kiraya dia to aa jaunga ....!!! }}}}}}}
{{{{{Bus Chali Jhatka Laga Santa Ladki pe jaa gira,
Ladki boli - Battmeez kya kar rahe ho ?
Santa Bola: ji punjab university se B.Com Kar raha hoon.... }}}}}}
{{{{{{ Girl: Plz mere husband ko andar bula lijiye
Doctor : Ghabrao nahi main ek sharif aadmi hun.....
Girl : Aap samjhe nahi, bahar aapki nurse aakeli hai.... }}}}}}
{{{{{ Luck is not in ur hands but decision is in ur hands.
ur decision can make luck but luck can't make ur decision...
So always trust urself....!!! }}}}}}}}}
{{{{ BIG B in KBC : In which state river Ganga flows?
Santa: Liquid State....
Audience clapped laudly...
Amitabh was stunned ... He looks behind, all were Englishmen.... }}}}}
{{{{{ Nothing is old nothing is new, just a matter of point of view, enjoy life as happy days r few, becz, if life is ocean, happy moments r like dew. }}}}}}
{{{Attitude is a little thing which makes a big difference in life, But it shld be like I'm not d best,
But I'm not like the rest }}}}}}}}}
{{{{Frnd is 1 who forgives u say before u say sorry....
understandz when U say I forget....
waits 4ever whn u say 1 min & stays wth u whn u say leave me alone .......}}}}}
{{{{{{Saawdhaan
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
..
.
.
Vishraam....
26th jan nazdik aa raha hai....
practice chalu rakho...
"Jai Hind"
"Jai Bharat"}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
{{{{{{{{{{{Absence is d best presence......
Becz if people r absent den u miss them & if u miss dem dat means dey r present in ur heart }}}}}}
{{{{{{{Funny but true...
Dis generation boys & girls get into love becz of misunderstanding ...
& break up when dey understand each other.......}}}}}}}\
{{{{{ Teeth said 2 tounge: "If I just press u a little, u will get cut."
Tounge replied: "if i misuse 1 word against someone, then all 32 of u will come out."}}}}}}}
{{{{{Our brilliant TOM has done again....
Teacher : Which is ur favourite dish?
.
.
.
.
.
..
.
.
.
.
.
.
TOM : TATA SKY......!!!! }}}}}}}}}
{{{{{{{{{{{Santa sabji lene gaya.....
Sabji wala sabji per pani chidak raha tha...
Santa intezar karta raha jab kafi der ho gayi to bola - Agar inhe hosh aa gaya ho to 1 kilo tol do.....}}}}}}}}
{{{{{{{{{{Kavita likh rahi hu...... tujhe na thi mere pyaar ki khabar......
wah wah....
tujhe na thi mere pyaar ki khabar
ila kavita to galat ho gayi , rubber de rubber..... wah wah wah wah !!!!! }}}}}}
{{{{{kehne ko hamare paas shabd nahi hai, bhejne ko hamare paas naya SMS nahi hai par dil me 1 baat zaroor hai, "apna khyal rakhna" hamare paas aap jaise doston ki kafi kami hai....}}}}}}
{{{{ 1 day i will leave d world, & never come back.....
My frnds will cry when dey will see my number....
they will miss me when dey sit 2gether, won't be able 2 hear my laugh & voice ever again....
There will be no more ME 2 irritate, tease, make them laugh, & say sorry stupidly....
I won't call by all d stupid names I do.....
tears might flow out of eyes, but i will be gone, long & 4ever.....
SO ENJOY MY COMPANY AS MUCH B4 I CLOSE MY EYES 4EVER....}}}}}}}}}
{{{{{ TEACHER : Bacho kasam lo ki daru, cigrate or ladkiyon se dur rahoge or desh ke liye jaan doge....
BOYS: de denge sir, ab aisi zindagi ka karenge bhi kya..... }}}}}
{{{{{Na guzarna id ke din kisi Masjid ke pass se, kahin log chand samjhkar apna Roja na tod de, aur hoke khafa Khuda aapse, kahi Khoobsoorat LOG banane na chod de.......}}}}}
{{{{Height of Courage
Senior student during ragging says : I ur marriage i will kiss ur Wife....
Junior : Fine but i will marry ur sister ....
"le ab le le pappi }}}}}}}}
{{{{ ARZ KIYA HAI :
Rajwade me ud rahe the hathi, rajwade me ud rahe the hathi,
.
.
.
.
itne dhyan se kya padh rahe ho DEHATI ......
kabhie dekha hai udhta hua....HAATHI ????? }}}}
{{{{ Yaad karo apne wo beete din,
barsaat mein sadko pe nahana......
chhote chotte bachon k khilone chheen k bhaag jaana,
naak aaye to rumal ke bajay hath se muh par failana.....
aur aakhir me ghar k bahar khade hokar nikkar se makhiyaan udate hue chilana....
.
.
.
.
.
MUmmyyyyyyy ....
"KAR DE DHO DHO......." }}}}}
{{{{ True Fact :
Waqt per aadat na badli to wo Zarurat - E - Life ban jati hai,
Or agar waqt per Girl Friend na badli to wo WIFE ban jaati hai.......}}}}
{{{{Autowala : Sahab 30 Rs. hue...
TOM: Ye le 15 Rs.
Autowala: Ye to beymani hai...
TOM : abe beymani kaisi, tu bhi to baith k aaya hai, aadha tu de.... }}}}}
{{{{{ Sweet Insult :
1 ladka gadhe ke saamne gir gaya....
1 khubsurat ladki ne dekha aur kaha, "Apne bade bhai k pair chhu rahe ho ????
"ladka bola, " Ji Bhabhiji...... }}}}}
{{{{ Mausam badla Thand ho gaiu Aapke msg ke bina zindagi tang ho gai kya aapke Inbox me msg ki kami ho gayi ya fir hamare msg padhkar bolti band ho gai.....}}}}}
{{{{ Chandni raat alvida keh rahi hai,
Thandi si hawa dastak de rahi hai,
Utha kar dekho najar ko jara,
pyaari si subah aapko "good Morning" keh rahi hai......}}}}
Girl : Ye Batao, shaam ko park aa rahe ho yaa nahi.
Boy : Agar mummy ne Auto ka kiraya dia to aa jaunga ....!!! }}}}}}}
{{{{{Bus Chali Jhatka Laga Santa Ladki pe jaa gira,
Ladki boli - Battmeez kya kar rahe ho ?
Santa Bola: ji punjab university se B.Com Kar raha hoon.... }}}}}}
{{{{{{ Girl: Plz mere husband ko andar bula lijiye
Doctor : Ghabrao nahi main ek sharif aadmi hun.....
Girl : Aap samjhe nahi, bahar aapki nurse aakeli hai.... }}}}}}
{{{{{ Luck is not in ur hands but decision is in ur hands.
ur decision can make luck but luck can't make ur decision...
So always trust urself....!!! }}}}}}}}}
{{{{ BIG B in KBC : In which state river Ganga flows?
Santa: Liquid State....
Audience clapped laudly...
Amitabh was stunned ... He looks behind, all were Englishmen.... }}}}}
{{{{{ Nothing is old nothing is new, just a matter of point of view, enjoy life as happy days r few, becz, if life is ocean, happy moments r like dew. }}}}}}
{{{Attitude is a little thing which makes a big difference in life, But it shld be like I'm not d best,
But I'm not like the rest }}}}}}}}}
{{{{Frnd is 1 who forgives u say before u say sorry....
understandz when U say I forget....
waits 4ever whn u say 1 min & stays wth u whn u say leave me alone .......}}}}}
{{{{{{Saawdhaan
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
..
.
.
Vishraam....
26th jan nazdik aa raha hai....
practice chalu rakho...
"Jai Hind"
"Jai Bharat"}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
{{{{{{{{{{{Absence is d best presence......
Becz if people r absent den u miss them & if u miss dem dat means dey r present in ur heart }}}}}}
{{{{{{{Funny but true...
Dis generation boys & girls get into love becz of misunderstanding ...
& break up when dey understand each other.......}}}}}}}\
{{{{{ Teeth said 2 tounge: "If I just press u a little, u will get cut."
Tounge replied: "if i misuse 1 word against someone, then all 32 of u will come out."}}}}}}}
{{{{{Our brilliant TOM has done again....
Teacher : Which is ur favourite dish?
.
.
.
.
.
..
.
.
.
.
.
.
TOM : TATA SKY......!!!! }}}}}}}}}
{{{{{{{{{{{Santa sabji lene gaya.....
Sabji wala sabji per pani chidak raha tha...
Santa intezar karta raha jab kafi der ho gayi to bola - Agar inhe hosh aa gaya ho to 1 kilo tol do.....}}}}}}}}
{{{{{{{{{{Kavita likh rahi hu...... tujhe na thi mere pyaar ki khabar......
wah wah....
tujhe na thi mere pyaar ki khabar
ila kavita to galat ho gayi , rubber de rubber..... wah wah wah wah !!!!! }}}}}}
{{{{{kehne ko hamare paas shabd nahi hai, bhejne ko hamare paas naya SMS nahi hai par dil me 1 baat zaroor hai, "apna khyal rakhna" hamare paas aap jaise doston ki kafi kami hai....}}}}}}
{{{{ 1 day i will leave d world, & never come back.....
My frnds will cry when dey will see my number....
they will miss me when dey sit 2gether, won't be able 2 hear my laugh & voice ever again....
There will be no more ME 2 irritate, tease, make them laugh, & say sorry stupidly....
I won't call by all d stupid names I do.....
tears might flow out of eyes, but i will be gone, long & 4ever.....
SO ENJOY MY COMPANY AS MUCH B4 I CLOSE MY EYES 4EVER....}}}}}}}}}
{{{{{ TEACHER : Bacho kasam lo ki daru, cigrate or ladkiyon se dur rahoge or desh ke liye jaan doge....
BOYS: de denge sir, ab aisi zindagi ka karenge bhi kya..... }}}}}
{{{{{Na guzarna id ke din kisi Masjid ke pass se, kahin log chand samjhkar apna Roja na tod de, aur hoke khafa Khuda aapse, kahi Khoobsoorat LOG banane na chod de.......}}}}}
{{{{Height of Courage
Senior student during ragging says : I ur marriage i will kiss ur Wife....
Junior : Fine but i will marry ur sister ....
"le ab le le pappi }}}}}}}}
{{{{ ARZ KIYA HAI :
Rajwade me ud rahe the hathi, rajwade me ud rahe the hathi,
.
.
.
.
itne dhyan se kya padh rahe ho DEHATI ......
kabhie dekha hai udhta hua....HAATHI ????? }}}}
{{{{ Yaad karo apne wo beete din,
barsaat mein sadko pe nahana......
chhote chotte bachon k khilone chheen k bhaag jaana,
naak aaye to rumal ke bajay hath se muh par failana.....
aur aakhir me ghar k bahar khade hokar nikkar se makhiyaan udate hue chilana....
.
.
.
.
.
MUmmyyyyyyy ....
"KAR DE DHO DHO......." }}}}}
{{{{ True Fact :
Waqt per aadat na badli to wo Zarurat - E - Life ban jati hai,
Or agar waqt per Girl Friend na badli to wo WIFE ban jaati hai.......}}}}
{{{{Autowala : Sahab 30 Rs. hue...
TOM: Ye le 15 Rs.
Autowala: Ye to beymani hai...
TOM : abe beymani kaisi, tu bhi to baith k aaya hai, aadha tu de.... }}}}}
{{{{{ Sweet Insult :
1 ladka gadhe ke saamne gir gaya....
1 khubsurat ladki ne dekha aur kaha, "Apne bade bhai k pair chhu rahe ho ????
"ladka bola, " Ji Bhabhiji...... }}}}}
{{{{ Mausam badla Thand ho gaiu Aapke msg ke bina zindagi tang ho gai kya aapke Inbox me msg ki kami ho gayi ya fir hamare msg padhkar bolti band ho gai.....}}}}}
{{{{ Chandni raat alvida keh rahi hai,
Thandi si hawa dastak de rahi hai,
Utha kar dekho najar ko jara,
pyaari si subah aapko "good Morning" keh rahi hai......}}}}
SMS for mobiles
$$
You may fall in love with d beauty of someone
but remember,
finally u have 2 live wid character, not d beauty.
$$
TOM on his death bed confesses 2 his wife - "I had affairs vd ur sister, yd ur best frnd & even vid maid"
Wife : "I know darling.
Now relax & led d poison work."
$$
Duniya me 6 arab log rehte hain lekin
hum aapko hi q sms karte hain
Shayad isliye ki
5 arab
99 crores
99 lakh
99 hazar
999 log aapki
jagah nahi le sakte
$$$$$
Silent lips may avoid many prblms.
But smiling lips may solve many prblms.
So, always have a smile on ur face in d beautiful journey called LIFE.
$$$$
Gabbar : Aaj maine basanti ko nahate hue dekha
Viru: Kutte kaminey me tera khun pi jaunga.
Gannar : Kaminey, me naha raha tha basanti ja rahi thi.
$$$$$
(,")/
(! ! Dunia
!! Walon
(' . ')
_/| |\_
'
'|'
[]"""""<"<"""""[]
Mere sone ka time ho gaya hai Good Night
$$$$$$
aapki kahani,
meri jubani !
Apke pas dimag hai,
Chalta nai alag baat hai.
Aap Smart ho,
Koi manta nahi alag baat hai.
Aap sharif ho,
Lagta nahi alag baat hai.
Apke pass mobile hai,
Call nahi karte alag baat hai.
Kafi izzat hai aapki,
Koi karta nahi alag baat hai.
Aapki beijati ho rahi hai.
Aap phir bhi has rahe ho, GALAT BAAT HAI !!
$$$$$$
TOM Mithai khate hue Jerry se - Teri dukan ki mitthai bahut swad hai tera dil isko khane ko nahi karta ....
Jerry - Karta to bahut hai par papa marenge isliye sirf chaat kar rakh deta hun ...
$$$$$$
Interviewer: What is Recession ?
Candidate : When 'Wine & Women' get replaced by 'Water & Wife', that Critical Phase of life is called Recession .
$$$$$$
I.Q. Test
"Char Zero Ek saat Likho"
Likha ?
Kaise ?
0000 aise likha?
Fail
Correct Answer: "4017"
Maa - Baap ne kitni ummidon se pdhaya uspe pani phir gaya !
$$$$$$
Hard 2 get sum one who luvs u
easy 2 get sum one who likes U
tuf 2 get sum one who will Care 4 U
But
rare 2 get
Sum 1 who will understand U.
$$$$$$
Sum ppl dont understand d way I m,
Sum r hurt by d way I talk,
But wat can I do if dats d real me.
"SORRY" I m not 'PERFECT'
but definately not FAKE....
$$$$$$$$
Wife : Agar mein kho gayi to tum kya karoge?
Hsbnd : Its d Time 2 Disco
<('.')
/"/.
_/"\_
Kon dhundega Tujhko,
Kabhie na mile tu mujhko !
Its d time 2 Disco.
$$$$$
Bihar edition of johny 2 yes papa
Ramu ! Ramu ! ke bapu ?
Paan Khaile ?
Na Bapu...
jhut bolbe ?
Na Bapu ...
Mu khol re !
aaakkh....thhu....!
$$$$$$
Sharabi - aaj tab tak piyenge, jab tak wo saamne wale 3 ped (trees) 6 nahi dikhte ....
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Pub Manager : Saalo bas
Karo, Saamne pehle se
1 hi ped hai ....!
$$$$$$$
D sun is up from d east n birds r singing hapily wid buterflies around d flowers.
It is tym 2 wake up & give a big yawnng & say gud mrng 2 u .
$$$$$$
"A night msg does not mean that I am disturbing "U"
"It means "U" r one of d best Person about whom I am thinking before closing my eyes"
"Good Night "
$$$$$$
1 officer ne school checking k time dekha ki 1 teacher ladki ko kiss kar raha tha
Officer : wat is this ?
Teacher : Maar se nahi samjhti, pyar se samjha raha hun...
$$$$$$
TOm axe effect deo laga k nikla uske picche Budhiya padh gayi
Sardar ne company se shikayat ki,
Manager ne Bataya Sir Aapne expired Deo lagaya hai...
$$$$$
SMS FOR FUN !
***
1 aami ki 1 tang nili ho gayi,....
Dr. ne kaha zehar fail gaya hai katni padegi .....
kuch din baad dursi bhi nilli pad gayi...
Dr. ne kaha jehar jyada fail gaya hai dusri bhi katni padegi....
Tang kaat kar dono lakdi ki laga di...
kuch din baad lakadi ki bhi taangein nilli pad gayi
Dr. sahab ab tumhari bimari samajh mein aayi
TUMHARI LUNGI RANG CHODTI HAI..........
*****
TOM wanted 2 become a great man like NEWTON.
After long research, he made NEWTON's fourth law of motion ...?
"LOOSE MOTION CAN NEVER B DONE IN SLOW MOTION ..."
*****
Yun to aazadi aur bhi bahut se deshon ko mili hai par hum hindustaniyon jaisi kisi ko nahi mili
hogi kyunki,
Aaj hum aazad hain .......
milawat khori ke liye....
Rishwat khori k liye.
beimaani ke liye.
pados mein atyachar hota dekh kar apne darwaje band karke kehne ke liye ki mujhe kya...
kuch bhi galat hota dekh kar Muh pher lene k liye.......
kisi bhi samsya ke samadhan khud karne ki bajay system ko dosh dene ke liye.....
dharm aur jaatiyon ki sankirn mansikta mein jine ke liye.....
Hum hindustani chahte to hain ke bhagat singh azad, bose fir paida ho magar apne ghar mein nahi, kranti to ho magar kare koi aur...
aaiye apni aur jimme dariyo ki tarah desh ki, pados ki, samaj ki koi ek zimedari le...
apne or apno ke liye to sabhi jeete hain ek baar dusron ke liye jeekar dekhein.
Hindustan ki aazadi ke liye is se badh kar koi shrdhanjali nahi ho sakti .
Do something
JAI HIND...
*******
Gile shikwe na dil se laga lena ,
kabhie man jana to kabhie mana lena...
kal ka kya pata hum ho na ho, isliye jab b mauka mile kabhie SAMOSA khila dena
kabhie cold drink pila dena .....
******
C.A.T. EXAM best question :
"Spell d word "Cow" in 13 letters.....
.
.
.
..
.
.
.
.
.
Toppers couldnot answer ....
.
.
.
.
.
.
but a back becnh boy ......
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"SEE O DOUBLEYOU"
*********
Bikhari : 50 paise de do... maine 3 din se khana nahin khaya hai...
Kanjoos : 10 Rs. dunga, pehle ye bata 50 paise mein khana kahan milta hai
****
Wife: Shaadi ki raat tumne jab mera ghunghat uthaya to mein kaisi lag rahi thi...
Husband: Mein to mar hi jata agar mujhe hanuman chalisa na yaad hoti....
*****
Teacher - kal school kyon nahi aaye...?
Student- madam, girlfriend se milne gaya tha....
Teacher - Kiss liye ...?
Student - Yes madam bahut Kiss liye ...
*****
Frnd is a promise made in a heart....
Silent...
Unwritten...
Unbreakable by distance & time ..
Its lovely 2 have u as one ...
******
I wont promise 2 be ur frnd 4ever, becz i wont alive dat ling.
But let me be ur frnd as long as i live....
*****
Monday went 2 tuesday 2 see wednesday n asked thrusday whether Friday has told saturday dat sunday is a Friendship Day.....
******
Dr. Ghayal mareej se - Jab car ek mahila chala rahi thi toh tumhein sadak se dur chalna chahiye tha...
Mareej - Kiasi sadak ? Main to apne angan me baitha tha ....
****
My eyes waiting 4 ur face
My ear is waiting 4 ur voice
My lips ready 2 talk with u
& my mobile waiting for ur sweet SMS...
******
Some say i have attitude, while some disagree,
But i just say dat....
" I only have a personality which everybody can't handle ."
*******
A very true but starnge quote - Love does not start in morning & does not end in evening - It starts when u dont neet it & ends when u need it d most.....
****
TOM : Sunti ho aaj hamare pintoo ne aadha shabd bolna seekha....!
Mrs. TOM : Such ...! Kya bola...?
TOM : BEHAN....!
****
Amir aadmi ne garib se pucha : batao sex mehnat hai ya mazaa
Garib : hazur mazaa hi hoga, mehnat hoti to wo bhi aap hami se karwate..
******
T.V.ad - vilan try 2 rape a girl.
but ladki ka salwar ka nada nahi khula..
Voice from Back..
Aapki maa nehen ki ijjat ke rakhwale, Pappu naade wale ....
****
Gum me jine ka mazza aata hai,
garibon k dar pe khuda aata hai,
ek hum hai ki hamesha SMS karte hain,
Ek Tumhara SMS hai jo WORLD CUP ki tarah 4 saal baat aata hai....
****
Tounge twister.
jaldi jaldi 10 bar bol k batao -
Roti kha k potty jaun,
Potty jaa ke roti khaun..
Try...
*****
TOM ne Zoo mein sher ka pinjara khula chod diya....
Officer : Tumne sher ka pinjra lock nahi kiya...
TOM : Sir, itne khofnak janwar ko kaun chori karega...??
*****
A hynotist hynotised the whole audience in d hall wid a pendulum.
Suddenly, pendulum fell down.
He said "SHIT" and it took 3 days 2 clean the hall
****
From 20th floor : Ameer bache - wow what a lovely view...awesome...
Garib Bacche - Chal dekhte hain kiska thook pehle neeche girta hai...
****
interesting baat maa k liye wo konsa kaam hai jo beta kare to bura or damad kare to bahut accha lagta hai
socho...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Give a try yaar?.
.
.
.
.
. Biwi ki gulami...
*****
mann karta hai...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
tumhe akele mein ..
.
.
.
.
.
.
ek kone me lejakar .
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
apne hoton se .
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Tumhe ek...
K
.
..
.
KI
.
.
.
.
KIS
.
.
.
.
.
.
KISS
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Kissa sunau ramayan ka...
****
If u r married pls ignore d following msg...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
HAPPY Independence Day!
***
Nobody teaches Volcano 2 erupt, Tsunami 2 devastate, Hurricane 2 sway around
No 1 teaches How 2 choose a Wife,
Disaster Happens
***
SANTA : Yaar Jerry, hum dono mein kya rishta hai ?
BANTA : Jo Pakode aur besan ka hota hai...
SANTA : wo kaise?
BANTA : jab besan SANTA hai, tabhie to pakoda BANTA hai...
****
Achi zindagi guzarane k 2 tariqe hain,
1.) Jo pasand hai use hasil kar lo...
Ya phir
2. ) Jo hasil hai use pasand karlo...
****
Jawahar Lal Nehru Said: Aalasya manushya ka sabse bada dushman hai... .
.
.
.
.
Mahatama Gandi: Apne dushmano se prem karo...
Ab aap hi batao Bapu ki sune ya Chachu ki....
*****
SMS TO SHARE
# Girl in a party to a man - excuse me kya aap mere chehre se ek cheez hataa sakte hain ???
Man (Khush Hoke ) : Haan Bolo
Girl : Apni kutte jaisi nazar....
# Teacher - Mai kisi per bhi ek nazar dal k bata sakti hu ki wo mere bare me kya soch raha hai....
1 Bachha : Miss jab aapko pata chal jata hoga to badi sharam aati hogi ?
# Santa : Jab khayal kiya to khayal bhi tera aaya,
jab aankhein band ki to khwab bhi tera aaya....
Socha yaad kar lu us khuda ko, par jab honth khule to naam bhi tera aaya....
# Princiapl let kyun ho gaye ?
Student - Bike kharab ho gayi thi...
Principal - Bus se nahi aa sakte the ?
Student - aapki hi beti nahi manti, nakhre karti hai....bahut
samjha do use.....
# If some one fail in xam mom says 3 words - pad lete beta...
dad says 3 words - ye sudhrenge nahi
lover says 3 words - u try again !
Frnd also says 3 words - "TU BHI FAIL'
# Girl to boy : Mujhe apni bracelet de do main isko dekh kar tumhe yaad karungi
Boy : - Tum yeh soch ke mujhe yaad kar lena ki tumne manga tha maine nahi diya ....
# Wah India
Afzal ko mafi sadhvi ko fansi
RSS per pratibandh
SIMI se anubandh
Amarnath yatra per lagaan
Haj ke lye anudaan.
Wakai....
Mera Bharat Mahan !
# 1 sardar ne apne 6 month k baby ki birthday party aarange kar li.
kisi ne pucha : 6 month k baby ki birthday kaise ?
Sardar : me semester system follow karta hun ...
# Killing shayari by sardar : jo dil me dard de wo dildar hai..
Gour Farmaiye :
jo dil me dard de wo dildar hai..
Or
jo sar me dard de wo "Sardar " Hai....
# Ladki aur tea mein hamesha 7 qualities dekho -
1. Garam ho
2. tej ho.
3. rang saf ho .
4. meethi ho.
5. dodh jyada ho ...
6. do minute me taiyar ho jaye...
7. hamesha bed pe mile....
# At marriage function old ppl used 2 pull my cheeks & say " U R Next", Now....
They have stopped it .... u know why ???
Becz i started the same at FUNERALS .....
# Hamesha hasne wale ko b gum ho sakta hai ....
Wah Wah !
Hamesha hasne wale ko b gum ho sakta hai ....
Koi b lawaris wastu na chuein usme bum ho sakta hai....
# Din - Bhar kam k baad papa puchte hain - kitna kamaya ?
Patni - Kya Bachaya ?
Bache - kya laye ?
Par maa puchti hai - Btea kuch khaya ?
Always respect mother ...
# 1980 , IDBI rejected loan 4 ambani
30 yrs later Mukesh ambani is planning to buy IDBI
Dis shows nothing is Impossible
Today HDFC rejected my loan ! Let see....
# 2 sardaron ki khub pitayi hui.....
Pata hai Q...??
Dono birthday party me bina bulaye khana khate kehne lage - " Hum to ladke walon ki taraf se hain ..."
# A successful marriage requires falling in live many times, always with d same person...
# "Love is like a stappler:
Its easy 2 attach but hard 2 detach & worst is when ur able 2 detach it, it still leaves the paper damaged!!!
# 1st sardar 2 other : ja mere ghar jake dekh, me hu ke nahi ...?
2nd saradr ran !
1st Sardar laughs: sala ghar dekhne ja raha hai, phone karke nahi puch sakta ....
# PJ shld not be made on sardars.... they shld me made on TOM & JERRY or JACK & JILL Becz most of our soldiers in army or navy or force are sardar, so respect THEM......
THEY R INDIANS....
TOM & JERRY or JACK & JILL
r birtish characters....
pass dis to all indians...
JAI HIND....
# TOM : Aaj mere pass paisa hai,
Business hai
bangla hai,
tere pass kya hai....
JERRY : Mere pass bhi paisa hai,
Business hai
bangla hai
TOM : Haramkhor fir hamari maa kiske paas hai..............
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)