SMS OF ALL KINDS!

5 ghante jindagi ke
Doctor: Tuhaadi patni sirf 5 ghante di mehmaan hai.
Santa : Koi gal nahi doctor sahibji. jithe 25 saal nikal gaye othe 5 ghante hor sahi....!

Zimedari ka ehsaas
(',')/
(! !)Oh hello.
! !
sun rahe hai ya nahi ?

(' ,')
Mujhe SMS
! ! kya aapke padosi karenge
kya ? zimedari ka ehsaas hi nahi rah logon me.
chaliye sms kijiye

CAUTION PLEASE !
plz 4rd dis msg 2 all those, 2 whom u care most
don't eat "PHOOL GOBHI" bcz a new virus H.B.F. ( High Bone Fever) is spreading 4m it.
FROM: AIIMS (Delhi)

LOOSE CHARACTER
Santa: tumne apni bii ko talak kyun de diya?
Banta - Character ki sahi nahi thi, shadi mujhse ki aur bache bhagwan se mang rahi thi.

RING
a girl wanted a ring. But d boy gave her a teddy. In anger, d girl thre d teddy on d road. the boy went 2 take it back but as hit by a car nd died. At his funerald girl hugged d teddy hardly n d machine in it spoke - "will u marry me ? the ring is in my pocket"?

HAVE PATIENCE!
It takes several years 4 a seed 2 become a tree. a flower takes months 2 blossoms, so have patience 4 any thing 2 happen in life.

LOVE SOMEONE who???
Duniya me do logon se sabse jyada pyaar karna chahiye
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vo jisne aapko janam diya ho aur
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jisne aapke liye janam liya ho......

HABIT
Be honest in ur ans, meri koi 1 acchi or koi 1 buri aadat......
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batane ki koi zarurat nahi....
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pehle apne girebaan me jhanko, or khud ko sudharo......


Boy: ro q rahi ho?
Girl: mere marks bahut kam aaye hain..
Boy: bata kitne aye hai?
Girl: Sirf 88%
Boy: khuda ka khauf kar zalim itne me to 2 bache pass ho jate hain !

BOOK
Guy in a book store. Do u have a book called "Men The perfect intelligence"?
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Sales girl: 'the comic department is on the other side, sir...."

First Time sher on NOSE:
Kadam kadam pe hawa ki dasha ka dhyan rakhna, mushkil samay me bhi dosti ko yaad rakhna. hamari yadon ki khushboo zarur ayegi tum bus apni Nossy saaf rakhna.....

What is NOUN?

to arz kiya hai....

kutta b apni gali m hota hai king

Wah wah ! Wah Wah !
Kutta bhi apni gali m hota he king

Noun is d name of a person, place or thing.....

Unlimted Talktime:

Anil ambani was suffering 4m loose motion.
He went 2 adoctor
Dr. asked him: what's ur problem?
Ambani: unlimited free outgoing with variety of ringtones.

HUSBAND & WIFE :

newly married husband saved wife's number on mobile as "My Life"
After 1yr:
"my Wife"

After 5 yrs:
"HOME"

After 10 yrs:
"HITLER"

& after 25 yrs:
"WRONG NUMBER"

SANTA & BANTA:

Santa: mera ghar itna bada hai ki andar local train chalti hai...
Banta: mera to itna bada ghar hai ki 1 kone me chale jao to roaming lag jati hai....

KYUNKI GEETA ME LIKHA HAI:
Padai karo fail hone se mat daro, ladki chedo jute khane se mat daro, ladki ko propose karo inkar se na daro, quki GEETA me likha hai, karam kar phal ki chinta matkaro....

CAUTION:
KAMZOR dil wale ye msg na padeh
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zid mat karo.
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mat padho.
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yaar mat padho.
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ok lo padh lo
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yaar 50/- ka recharge kara de....it's urgent !

Dharmender style:
\('.')/
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! ! Duniya walon !!!
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kuch nahi, apna kaam karo... !

SASTE SHAMPOO KA KAMAL:

;;;;;;;;;;
;;; o o ;;;;
;;; -- ;;;;

;;;;;;;;
;; o o ;;;
'. -- ,,

, - -.
; o o ;
'. - ,

aur karo sastey shampoo istemall ....!

Quote:

very beautiful sentence 2 life: "everybody seems 2 be special at first sight but only very few will remain special 2 u till ur last sight ."

ZINDA REHNE KE LIYE:

Science teacher : Bacho zinda rehne ke liye kya zaroori hai?

Boy itna bhi nahi pata mam?

"Zinda rehne ke liye teri kasam ek mulaqat zaroori hai sanam"

NEW & OLD UMRAOJAAN:

Media walon ne abhishek se pucha.... what is d difference between new & old umraojaan.

Abhishek says not a big difference, nai se apni setting hai or purani se PAA ki.....

R U Feeling bored?

No prblm do something special.....

10 baar jaldi- jaldi bolo....

"Roti kha ke potty jaun, potty jaa ke roti khaun..."

Try it !

GAY ACT:

The best outcome of decriminalisation of GAY act 377..

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"Ab to saala bhi aadha ghar wala hai"......

SANTA BANTA & JHIPKALI:

Dr. - Jab aapko pata tha chipkali kaan me ghus rahi hain to aap chup q rahe?

Santa - pehle cockroach gaya tha to mujhe laga ki wo use pakadne ja rahi hai....

BILLI & CHOR:

Ek chor chori karne ek ghar me ghusa:

Malik - kaun hai...??

Chor - Miyaun...

Malik - kaun hai..??

Chor - Miyaun

Malik - Kaun hai ...??

Chor - Saale billi hun billi .... !!!!

NEVER REPLY NO:

Der r some fools in dis world, who always reply "NO" 2 every question we ask, isnot it???

Now u tell me ...

"R U DAT KIND OF A PERSON...?

NASA & U & ME:

Imagine

U & Me join
NASA...

After 1 month

The amricans will have 2 change d name from NASA 2.....

"SATYANASA" apna talent hi aisa hai...!!

PRINCIPAL ARGUED:

Once engineering & medical college principal argued dat their students r more brave then others.

Medical college principal called his student 2 jump in d sea full of shark,

his student jumped...

Then he said "See d guts".

When engineering college principal said his student to jump, then the student - "PAAGAL HAI KYA SAALE ".

Engineering College Principal - 'Now see d guts".

2 cheezen jiski duniya deewani:

is duniya me do hi cheezein aisi hai

jiski duniya deewani hai

1st TAJMAHAL

&

2nd - AAP

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ne muje to dekha hi hoga.....

BHOOT TAKLKING:
1st Bhoot - tu kaisa mara?
2nd Bhoot - Jyada thand se aur tu ?
1B - Biwi pe shak tha, pura ghar dhunda koi nahi mila, sharm se mar gaya...
2b - "Kamine freeze kholta to dono bach jaate..."

GIFT:

Mubarak ho sab se kam SMS karne per aapko milta hai 1 khubsurat 180 cc ka gadha......

GITA UPDESH:

Mobile nirjiv hai sim iski atma hai sam woh gyan hai jo batane se badta hai is liye hey prani balance ki moh maya tyag kar nirantar SMS bhejte rahiye...

Enjoy New SMS !

An AMAZING STORY of a Girl Child who can predict: Beat this! A lady is pregnant wid girl child who had d power 2 predict future..... another pregnant lady named 'sapna' is carrying a male child who is going 2 be d future husband of d previous lady's girl child.... when dis girl child sees sapna in her nano car through her moms womb....she starts singing 'nano me sapna, sapno ,me sajna ....sajna pe dil aa gaya...ke sajna pe dil aa gaya.....

About Parenting : Only a happy parent can nurture a happy child, relax control ur bad moods, smile 4 ur child's sake.......

WHY FRIENDS ?
Rn't frnds a necessity in life??
Assume urself widout any true n sincere frnd
how wld u feel at places like mcdonalds....pizza hut ??
wat will u do wid ur cell phone??
what abt parties ?
think abt events like ur bday
who will ask u abt ur worries??
whose gona tel abt their mood swings??
who will tease u pairing wid others??
who will take care.....
Happy 2 have u in my life....
4wrds it 2 all idiotic loving frnds widout whom ur life would not have been such a lovable mess....

MUMMY: A roman girl asks an egyptian boy, what can u do 4 me?
Boy said - cum behind d pyramid, i will make u mummy.....

Through ur mobile away: wash ur mobile cut it in2 small pieces, fry it add spices n some oil ur mobile. pickle is ready. Do it if u dont call or SMS me...

WHICH DEPARTMENT? Teacher; wo kaunsa department he jisme aurtein kaam nahi kar sakti...
Student: Fire Bigades....

Teacher : Kyun????

Student: Aurtaun kaa kaam aag lagana hota hai, bhujana nahi.....

ADVICE TO RELIANCE BROTHERS: Mukesh & Anil have been adviced 2 take large doses of HAjmola

WHY???

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Becz Hajmola guarantees 2 solve all ur GAS problems.... !!

BEWAFA KI YAAD ME JAM: us bewafa ki yaad mein jam hatho mai utha liya...
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Phir uthai bread lagaya jam or fatafat khaa liya....
wah !! wah !!

FRESH SMS

!! May Lord ganesha protect u & ur family bless u wid joy & fill ur home wid prosperity & fortune. Wish u a happy Ganesh Chaturthi. !!

!! Kuch log acchi yadon ki tarah hote hain, jinhe yaad kar ke dil khush ho jata hai or jinko bhulana namunkin hai
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. aap unhi me se 1 ka msg padh rahe hain.... !!

!!! Ganesh Chaturthi ki hardik badhai. Bhagwan vinayak aapki har manokamna puran kare.....- Bolo Ganpati bappa Moriyaa... !!!

!!! sardar ko chand par bhejne ka faisla hua.. Aadhe raste jakar sardar rocket se kood gaya or chillaya ... DHOKA !! kamino aaj to amawas hai, chand to hoga hi nahi.... !!!

!!! 6 Birds 9all females 0 were sitting on a tree.

A hunter saw dat nd shot over tree.

5 birds flew away but 1 bird was sitting.
Why?.
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.nakhre hain madam ke !!!!

!!!! 4 guys 1 4m HOWARD, 1 4m OXFORD, 1 4m TEXAS & a SARDAR 4m punjab university.

1 common question : what is d fastest thing in d world?

OXFORD: LIGHT

HOWARD: THOUGHT

TEXAS: Blinking of an eye.

SARDAR : its loose motions, bcz last night when i was lying in my bed & b4 i cud blink, think or turn on d lights it was over...... !!!!

!!! Girl - sir, all boys called me DIDIJi

SIR - Stand up who call her Didi ji ?

all boys stand up except one.

Sir- why r u not standing

Boy - Becz i am jijaji..... !!!!

!!!! "To have good relations wid all, we shld keep our nature like a theatre scree.

it accepts all characters but remains peacefully white ! !!!!

!!! 1 traffic policewala budhiya se 0- Mai kitni der se siti baja raha tha aap ruki Q nahi ?

Budhiya - Beta ab meri siti sunkar rukne ki umar hai kya ???? !!!!

!!! Ladki: Meri mummy ko tum bahut pasand aaye.

Santa : sharmakar, kuch B ho main shadi tumse hi karunga apni mummy se kehna mujhe bhul jaye. M tumhe dhoka nahi de sakta... !!!

SMS TO ENJOY !

## Sometimes we maintain a silence 2 protect a beautiful relation, but 2 much silence creates a distance in every beautiful relation! So keep talking wid ur loved ones. ###

##Only a lovable frnd can feel ur silent pain & will hold ur hand till u become strong again. I am here 4 u always.... ###

## Snake ne kiya mouse ko bite

Wah! Wah !

Snake ne kiya mouse ko bite

Wah ! Wah !

Who cares ? So jaaoo Good Night ... ###

## Kya aapko HAPPY ka full form pata hai

H- Hum
A- Apko
P-Pal
P-Pal
Y-Yaad
Karte Hain....
tussi bhi sanu kabhie HAPPY kar liya karo ..... ###

## 1 bacha door bell bajane ki koshish kar raha tha, 1 old man ne dekha....

Wo gaya aur bell baja di, Aur bola : Aur kuch beta ?

Baccha: ab bhaag Budhe .... ###

## The most romantic lines : main kho gaya hu tere pyaare me....tum bhi kho jao.....

In english translation :

"I m lost in ur Love, u also get lost..... ###

## Tantrik Santa se- "beta tumhare ghar par chudel kaa vaas hai...."

Santa - "baba main thappad maar dunga jo meri biwi ke bare me kuch kaha to ... !! ###

## Son 2 his DAD:-
Dad aap kabhie Egypt gaye the kya?
DAD: Nahin beta, kyun ?
Son: Phir itni khatarnaak "mummy" kahan se laye.... ##

## Santa: Hamme yahan nahi rehna, hamare paise wapas karo. Itna chota sa kamra aur ek stool bus. Hum kya janwar hain...
HOTEL MANAGER- Sir, kamre mein to chalo ye to lift hai.... ###

## I requested God let my frnds be happy & healthy forever. God said 4 days only. I said ok spring, summer, autumn & winter day. He said no only 3 days, I said ok. Yesterday, today, tomorrow. He said no only 2 day. I said brightday & nightday. He said no only 1 day. I said Ok.. "Everyday". God laughed & said OK. ###

## teacher : to a dull boy, if u have 12 chocolates & u give 5 2 Leena, 3 to teena & 4 to meena, then what will u get ?
Student: 3girl friends.... ###

## Ummid ki imaarat ban gayi WAH ! WAH !
ankhon se aansuo ki nadiya beh gayi WAH ! WAH !
tumhari kya izzat reh gayi jab tumhari girl friend tumhe bhaiya keh gayi WAH ! WAH ! WAH! WAH ! ###

## Making a million frnds is not a miracle, the miracle is 2 make a frnd who will stand with u when millions are against u.... ###

## I need ur frndship
I need ur Company
I need ur support
I need ur advices
I want 2 b like u
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maine barbaad hone kaa faisla kar liya hai bus ... !!!! ###

## Girl: LADKA dikhne mein kaisa hai

Brother: Ladka dikhne mein FILM ke hero jaisa hai

Girl: Kounse film ka hero...?
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"PEEPLI LIVE apna NATTHA YAAR !!! ###

## "Om bolne se man ko shanti milti hai...
'SAI" bolne se mann ko shakti milti hai...
"RAM" bolne se paapon se mukti milti hai...

To dil se bolo "OM SAI RAM" ###

## "apart 4m water, we've discovered d presence of whales & sharks on d moon" - PAKISTAN

"Satellite launched by pakistan found in Arabian sea! - NASA ! ###

## Ye naya injection

---------<"_"_"_"_"_"_"]==()

jo msg nahi karte hai unke liye....
Jab asar karne lagega to reply apne aap ane lagenge... ###

## GOD ne din banaya naam diya AFTERNOON,

Raat ki roshni banayi, naam diya Moon,
Soch samajh kar tumhe banaya or naam diya "CARTOON" ... ###

## Bye is a word tat causes so much pain. D person V hold now mite never meet us again. So never say bye, say meet u again. ###

## Chotte log paise ki baat karte hain,

Bade log time ki baat karte hain,

mahan log to baat hi nahi karte wo sirf SMS karte hain,

Aur sweet log sirf padhte hain ! ###

NEW AND FUNDOO SMS!

SMS KARNE KE 5 FAYDE

1. MOBILE KO JANG NAHI LAGTA

2. TIMEPASS HO JATA HAI

3. AAP JISE SMS KARENGE WO KHUSH

4. CONTACT BANA RAHEGA

5. AAPKO KOI KANJUS BHI NAHI KAHEGA

(((( Seriously i sent u many msges but u didnot reply a single msg....so i am deleting ur num....U r no more my wellwisher.....Good bye...TOM sent dis msg to customer care )))))))

(((( 1 hai aasman ka tara to dusra hai samundar kaa kinara.

Bewafa hai zamana sara, par naseeb hai accha hamara, jo mila hai 1 rishta aap jaisa pyara.....)))))

(((( DON ka intezar 11 degree colleges ki ladkiyan kar rahi hain lekin DON ka aana mishkil hi nahi namunkin hai, kyunki don.

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.inter me fail ho gaya hai ....))))))

(((((( mubarak ho aapko sabse kam msg karne per

Apne jeeti hai ek khubsurat 1800CC

HOCHI HONDA...)))))

((((( SHut down ur eyes log on sum memories.... download sum dreams... save sum joy... delete all ur sorrows... have a nice computerised sleep... Good noght take crae....)))))

(((( Mandire ke bahar chappal rakhne me aur missed call karne me dono me kya common hai....

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Dono me dar laga rehta hai koi utha na le....)))))

(((( Lefe me ek baat hamesha yaad rakhna....

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Cream biscuit me cream hota hai, per .

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Tiger biscuit me kabhie tiger nahi hota...)))))

(((( Bhagwan Ram lanka jeet kar ayodhya vapas lautne lage to soorpnakha ne poocha: "prabhu, mera kya hoga? "Ram bole:"kalyug me mayawati k naam se tera punarjanam hoga ...! Laxshman se tere lagaav ke vajah se tu lakshmanpuri (Lucknow) naamak shahar se raaj karegi...! Lekin teri shaadi phir bhi nahi hogi...!!!! )))

(((( Adivasi area me 1 teacher ki posting hoti hai. to unka pehle question students ke liye - pehlewale teacher kaise the.....

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Students - bahut swadisht they..... ))))

((((( Jabse mobile em hanuman chalisa download kiya ta se tumhare msg or phone ane band ho gaye....

Such hai" Bhoot pichach nikat nahi awe, mahavir jab naam sunave" )))))

(((( Experiencing failure is an important tasting victory. At times, even more important. )))))

(((( Wife - mere khayal se hamari beti ki kisi ladke ke saath setting ho gayi hai...

Pati - Wo kaise...

Wife - Qyuki wo kafi dino se mobile recharge k liya paise nahi maang rahi.... )))))

((((( Nice & Important fact: Life is not about the people who act true in ur presence... It's about d people who remain true in ur absence " ))))

(((( Mandir me pujari purush q hote hain ????

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Taki aadmi ek time pe ek jagah ho dhyan laga sake.... ))))

(((( So d sun can rise...

Flowers can blossom....

Birds can sing...

Bcoz

AA r waiting 2 see ur beautiful smile )))))

(((( Phir usko dua di humne, koi to baat hai us me nadaan, har khushi jis pe luta di hum ..... )))))

(((( Devdas- Papa ne kaha haveli chod do...Maa ne kaha paro ko chod do..... Paro ne kaha sharab chod do ... 1din ayega jab paro ke bache kahenge MAMA zara school jhod do.... ))))

(((( Boy- apne ghar walon ko chod diya tere liye... sabse rishta tod diya tere liye.... .

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tune aaj tak kiya hi kya hai mere liye????

Girl : Munni badnaam hui darling tere liye...... ))))

(((( Operation ke baad patient bola : "Doctor saheb kya ab mai ROG MuKT hun...? Samne se jawab mila : " Beta, Doctor saheb to dharti par reh gaye, mai to CHITRGUPT hun....))))

((((

SMS FOR JANMASHTHMI -

kanha ki masti

radha ka pyaar

Meera ki prarthna

Yashoda ka dulaar

Shri Krishan Janmastami k tyohar par khushiyan aaye aapke dwaar.....))))

(((( SMS FOR JANMASHTHMI-

"Natkhat bansi wale gokul ke raja, meri ankhiyan taras gayi ab to aaja"

Mrli manohar

Brij ki dharohar,

Wo nandlala

Gopala hai,

bansi ki dhun per sab dukhon ko harne wala hai, sab milke machaye dhum ki krishna aane wala hai.....

)))))

(((( 1 sardar ne apni car ke niche kutte ko lete hue dekha to kutte ko 1 dum se kheecha aur kaha " bahar nikal, bada aaya mechanical engineer banne"

(((( Sometimes v think y frnds keep frwarding msg 2 us without speaking a word, d reason is v have nothing 2 say but still want 2 keep in touch 4ever! ))))

(((( So jaiye palko me lekar sapne dher sare, aapko kare salaam ye chand or tare, khuda se dua karenge aaj ki raat, ki pure ho aapke armaan sare... ))))

(((( U r born original dont die as a copy. Dnt cry if some1 does not like u

u were not put on earth 2 plz any1.

life is a 2expressful not 2 impress any1. ))))

(((( Ab ke yun dilko saza di humne, uski har baat bhula di humne, Ek - Ek Phool bahut yaad aaya, shaakh-e-gul jab woh jala di humne

Aaj talak jis pe woh sharmate hain, baat woh kab ki bhula di humne, shehar-e-jahan Rakh se abaad hua, aag jab dil ki bujha di humne

Aaj phir yaad bahut aaya woh ))))

(((( Delhi

AIRPORT

PAR

MUMBAI

KI

FLIGHT

NO. 9

K

PLANE

KI

SEAT

NO. 52

PAR

BAITHE

PASSENGER

K

SAATH

KHADI

AIR

HOSTESS

K

BOY

FRIEND

K

GHAR

K

BED

ROOM

K

KITCHEN

K

SAMNE

K

RIGHT

SIDE

WALI

WINDOW

K

SAATH

WALI

GALI

K

PEHLE

MOD

PAR

SCHOOL

KI

CLASS

7TH

K

TEACHER

K

TABLE

K

SAMNE

WALI

ROW

KE

7TH

BENCH

KE

SAATH

WALI

BENCH

PAR

BAITHE

HUE

STUDENT

K

BAG

ME

PADI

HUI

HINDI

KI

BOOK

K

PAGE

NUMBER

57

KI

LINE

NUMBER

10

ME

LIKHA

THA

' kISI KO ITNA PARESHAN KARNA BURI BAAT HAI " )))))

(((( The 1 who can sense ur sadness in ur smile, can hear ur words in ur silence, n can feel ur love in ur anger, trust dem bcz dey r indeed ur real frndz. ")))

(((( Zindagi...bhi cigarette ki tarah hoti hai, enjoy karo....... .

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Warna... Sulag to rahi hi hai, khatam waise bhi ho jayegi ....Keep Enjoying ))))

(((( TOM chaku se apne haath ki ungli kaat raha tha, uski biwi boli kya rahe ho ? Santa bola mujse dettol gir gaya tha, socha kyu barbaad karun ))))

(((( Kaisa lagta hai jab

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Hawa k jhonkon ke sang.

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.Khamishi se chalte hue

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Koi aapka haath thaam ke haule se keh de.

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niche GOBAR hai, zara dhyan se !

))))

(((( A CUTE LOVE STORY:

An old couple recall their young days & go 4 date as dey did 60years ago..... He reached d decided place on tym & waited for 2 hrs, but she did not came.

Frustuated, he returned hiome, saw her sitting & asked,"y didnot u cum ?"

Shyly, she replied,"Mom didnot allow".......))))

(((( Many a tyms v lose our bst budies cz v r unable 2 xpress hw spcl dey r 2 us...

So dis msg is only 2 let u know dat u r 1of d best budies whm i dnt wana loose....))))

(((( Ek ajeeb haqiqat-

100 Rupye ka note bahut zyada lagta hai jab, garib ko dena ho,magar hotel me baithe ho to bahut kam lagta hai.....

3min ishwar ko yaad karna bahut mushkil hai, magar 3hrs ki film dekhna aasan....

Pure din mehnat k baad gym jana nahi thakata, magar jab apne hi ma-baap k per dabane ho to log tang aa jate hain....

Look at life with different angles.....))))

(((( Boss said santa 2 bring 2 corner tickets for a movie to go wid his girlfrnd

Santa brought 2 corner tickets.....

A1.....................................A40

Santa Rocks.....))))

(((( Koi hai jo dua karta hai, apno mein hume bhi gina karta hai bahut khush naseeb samajhte hain khud ko ki dorr hokar bhi koi yaad kiya karta hai.... ))))