SMS 4 ALL SEASONS !

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When apple is ready it is ready to

"PLUCK"

When girl is 18 she's ready 2

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"VOTE"

Kabhie "DESH" k bare me bhi soch Liya Karo......

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If u care 4 me - I care 4 u

U miss me - I miss u,

U msg me- I msg u

U gussa - I gussa

U 4gt me - Na munna na

I'm different Fir to goliya chalengi

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SANTA & BANTA

Santa: Yaar Banta Dr. ne mujhe AIDS hai. yeh AIDS kya hota hai?

Banta Singh:

A?Ab

I? Is

D? Duniya se

S? Sat shriya kaal

SMS ACCIDENT

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Kuch nahin yaar mera dimaag kharab ho raha tha....

maine socha tumhara bhi karun.....

Munni vs Sheila???

y Sheila wins branding.....

Munni is badnaam but sheila is jawan...

demand supply: munni is offering herself easily (darling tere liye ) but sheila is tough 2 get (tere haanth kabhie na aani)

Dance Place: munni (desi daru ka adda) sheila (high class disco bar)

Dance style: Munni (old latka jhatka)

Sheila (new booty shakes)

Mathematical analysis: munni (size 0)

Sheila (voluptuous)

Desi janta likes dis kind of graphical representation!

Don't trust Money

Bec'z it gives bed but not sleep

It gives books but not Mind

It gives luxuries but not happiness

So

Tranfer it 2 my account......

AN APPLE

an apple

a

day

keeps d doctor away !

But if

d nurse is cute ki karega fruit....!

Hamara Muqaddar:

hamare muqaddar me raton ki need nahi to kya hua?

hamare muqaddar me raton ki neend nahin to kya hua

Hum muqaddar ko bevkuf banake din me hi so jate hain.....

A very true Thought:

When ever "I wanna fall in luv wid my books.

My bed falls in love wid me"

n I believe, pyar usi se karo jo tumse pyaar kare....Isnot it?

BAAGO ME PHOOL

baago me phul to khilte rahenge, raat me diye bhi jalte rahenge....

bas bhagwan aapko khush rakhe, baaki pareshan to hum aapko karte hi rahenge....

FUNNY QUESTIONS

4 u

Fill up blanks

1) your name: ........

2) how many % in 10Th : ........%

3) gender : .........

Now read only the answers.......

WELCOME 2 SWEET DREAM

Welcome 2 sweet dream airline, all passengers on d bed r requested 2 hug ur pillow as flight is leav 4 dreamland....close ur eyesn enjoy...

Good Night......

KYA BAAT HAI

Aapke miss call me bhi kya baat hai,

Aapke SMS me bhi din raat hai

Kabhie - Kabhie phone bhi kiya karo,

Suna hai aapki aawaz bahut jhakas hai.....

VEGI

Tomato,

potato,

brinjal,

ginger,

carrot

lemon,

ladyfinger,

onion,

garlic,

mushroom...

arrey dekh kya rahe ho "VEG sms hai kisi ko bhi bhejo...."

HARYANE KA JAAT

Haryana kaa jaat 1 chori te apne pyaar ka izhaar karan gaya...

Jaat - I luv U

Chori - Thappad marun key?

Jaat- phir ghusand na khavegi....

Banane wale ne

banane wale ne 1 dost mere liye banaya jise aap ke rup me maine paya.

jo mere dil me aise samaya jaise Taj Mahal me ho bhoot ka Saaya.....

BUSH & LALU:

Nush: Do u know swimming?

Lalu: No

Bush: Dog is better then U, It swims...

Lalu: Do u know swimming?

Bush: Yes

Lalu: then wats d difference between U & DoG?

KOI SIKANDAR NAHI....

Hawa me taash ka ghar nahi banta

rone se bigdaa muqaddar nahi banta

jeetne ka hausla rakho yaro

ek jeet se koi sikandar nahi bantaa.....

PAPER & Money

Paper said 2 Money " U r just a piece of paper."

Money smiled n said ofcourse I m a piece of paper, but I hvenot seen a dustbin in my life"... dats called ATTITUDE....

Why is salmaan khan stressed dese days?

Becz his gf is jawaan & bhabhi is badnaam !

GOD & MAN

Once a wise man asked 2 GOD what is d meaning of life?

den d God replied - "Life itself has no meaning in it, Life is an Opportunity 2 create a meaning."

BE HAPPY

Dont be happy 4 a particular reason, becz dat happiness ends when reason ends.

Be happy widout any reason & U will be happy in every reason.

KHUDA AUR KHUDAI

Khuda apni khudai har lamha dikhata hai

Tum pyar karo isliye dil banata hai.

Pyar ki gahraiyon me kaha tak dube ho.

ye dekhne ke liye juda karke aazmata hai.....

INCOME TAX DEPARTMENT

is keeping a watch on all high value transactions.

Don't buy Onions, Garlic and Tomatoes......

KYA GAHRAI HAI.....

Khud ko kar nalayak itna ki koi b book padne se pehle,

uska har panna tumse khud puche

beta tabiyet to thik hai na?

aaj kaise yaad aa gaye hum....

CHOICE IS UR"S

Jo jeete vo sikander

jo hare vo jail ke andar

jo SMS bheje usko jadu ki jhappi

Jo SMS na bheje usko mayawati ki papi

Choice is Urs.

WHAT A TRAGEDY?

U r d one who is charming

U r d 1 who is Intelligent

U r d 1 who is CUTE

and I am d one who is spreading these rumours...

SANTA & BANTA

Santa & banta saath me kahin jaa rahe the

1 ladki pass se nikli

Santa: Wah yaar kya maal hai

Banta: Are yaar maal se yaad aaya, bhabhi kaisi hain?

GOOD NIGHT

Gd night 2 d last monday of d last week of d last month of d last year of d 1st decade of d 1st century of d 2nd millenium....!!

HEY GOD !

Hey shyam prabhu! M Sukhi hoon aapki se ......

Yadi dukhi hoon to sirf apne karmo se...Jai Shree Shyam !

SMS ka adda !

HAPPY NEW YEAR
2010 khatam hone me 6 din baki hai,
agar koi galti, gustakhi, khata ho gayi ho to,,....

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maafi maang lijiyega, main aaj acche mood me hun...

YAAR KAMAL HO GAYA !
yaar ye dekhio
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kisi ne blank msg bhej diya...ye koi tariqa hai..?

SANTA & BANTA
Santa ne nai ki nai dukan kholi
Banta shave karane aaya
Santa - Muchhaen rakhni hai
Banta - ha
Santa - (muchein kaat K ) le rakh le jaha rakhni hai.....

Latest SMS
Mere pass facebook hai, twitter hai, orkut hai....
tumhare pass kya hai.....?

Smart answer:
mere pass
"Aur bhi kaam hain"....

Agar Free Ho To :
agar free ho to call me plz,
mere phone me balance nahi hai...
Its urgent,
personal advice leni hai....
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taj mahal bik raha hai kharid lun kya ?

Teacher & Santa:
Teacher: sabse jyada pagal kon log hote hai?
Sardar utha
Teacher: shabash bete batao
Sardar-idhar udhar dekh kar, khabardaar kissi ne sardar ka naam liya to...

ARZ KIYA HAI ?
Sangeet sunkar gyan nahi milta
mandir jakar bhagwan nahi milta
pathar to log isliye pujte hain
qki
vishwas ke layak insaan nahi milta.....

DOSTI ....?
Koi dost kabhie purana nahi hota
kuch din baat na karne se begana nahi hota,
dosti me duri to aati rehti hai,
par doori ka matlab bhulana nahi hota !

MERRY CHRISTMAS ....?
Santa aaya santa aaya
humari liye uphar laya, kya hum bhi santa ban sakte hain
let's be a santa 4 a somebody needy.....

HAPPY WINTERS..
Kashmir ki vaadiyon me, barfillee hawaon me, jheel k kinare baithe,Ranjhe ko heer ne kya kaha??
Hero mat ban, sweater pehen le.....

BREAKING NEWS...:
Andar ki khabar

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1 dum fresh
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1 dum hot
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pappu paise deke pass hua hai....

DARNA MANA HAI...
Apko kaise lagega agar neend me aapka haath bistar se bahar nikle aur bed k neeche se koi use pakad le.
ya aap karwat badle aur dekhe ki koi bi aap ke pass so raha hai.
ya aap ki chaddar apne aap sarakne lage.
yaa aap beech raat me aankhein khole aur dekhe ki ceiling se koi aapko dekh raha raha hai.
Ya aap pani peene uthe aur khidki ke bahar se budhiya bole"1 glass mere liye bi le aana"...
khair chodiye in sab bataon ko
maine to gud nite kehne ke liya msg kiya tha....

One EMOTIONAL THOUGHT:
D best line wich helps 2 save money when going on dinner with girlfrnd-
"Bol kya khayegi Moti.....

HUSBAND & WIFE:
Husband is d head of d family

But

Wife is d neck of d family,
which can turn d head any where she wants....

KBC Questions:
Jab aapko koi na dekh raha ho aur aap naak me ungli daal rahe hon aur 1 bahut mota lais daar naak ki cream aapki ungli per lag jaaye toh aap kahan malna pasand karnege?
A: Bed ke kone per
B: sofa per
C: Kisi deewar per
D: ya uski ball banayenge...
Reply warna mein samjhunga ki aap use kha lete hain

WAH ! WAH !
Tune mera dil toda kiya mera apmaan,
tune mera dil toda kiya mera apmaan

wah wah

kya is baar duniya ko bacha payega shaktimaan..?

BOY LOVE:
Boy: I Love You
Girl: Me too...
Girl: How much u love me?
Boy: As much as u do!
Girl: u cheater! I thought u really loved me !!

MUNNI & SHIELA
tel lene gayi munni ki badnaami
wah wah
tel lene gayi munni ki badnaami

jabse katrina per chadhi hai, shiela ki jawaani.....

HUSBAND & WIFE:
Husband: Darling, what's d fastest way 2 a man's heart?
Wife: through his chest wid a sharp knife...

DOLLY of BIG BOSS 4:
Girls b4 marriage look lyk:Barbie Doll
After Marriage: beautiful Doll
After 1 Year: Nice Doll
After 2 Years: only Doll
After 5 years: Dhol

After 10 yrs: Dolly Bindra

Heart Melting Story:
A woman was admitted in hospital as she was sufering 4m brain tumor.
Her son n relatives were around her.
She died: within few hrs.
Her son cried d hole day n becum ill.
He returned home d nxt day n wen he opened his moms cuburd, he found sum tablets kept in a letter it was written, " Take these Tablets dear. I know u catch cold easily after cring."Mothers Love Make It Live Long".

WIFE & Husaband:
Wife: I hd 2 marry u 2 find out how stupid u r...
Husband: U shld have known it d min i asked u 2 marry me...

NEW EXAM INSTRUCTIONS:
1): All questions 2 be answered by Gen. Students
2): OBC students write Que only
3): SC-ST put only d Question, if Possible.
4) : Gurjar's just read d question.
Jub Quota system lagu hoga to yahi hoga....Sab naukri payenge hum jaise General aur honhaar students Chai Chai Chilayenge....

SMS !

Pyar Me .....!

pyar me kisi ko khona bhi zindagi hai

zindagi me gamo ka hona bhi zinagi hai

u to rehti hai hoto per muskurahat par shayad

chupke se rona bhi zindagi hai.....

Unhone Arz Kiya......

Mehfil me hamari chappal kho gayi to hum ghar kaise jayenge?

To hamane kaha-

Aap shayari to shuru kijiye, itne ayenge ki aap gin nahi payenge....

GIRLS Policy....

fraud wid inocent Boys

fun wid handsome Boys

Frndship wid gud boys

Luv wid faithful Boys

finally

Marriage wid rich uncles....!

LADKA HUA HAI JI !

Kulwant uncle ke ghar ladka hua..

par wo phir bhi dukhi the kyun?

itne saalo ke baad,

itni manato ke baad ladka hua wo bhi

chota sa !

Bolo tara ra ra ......!

HOLD UR CHEEKS...?

Hold ur right cheek wid ur right hand & hold ur left cheek wid ur left hand.

U know wat it is

meri taraf se googli woogli wush...Gud Day !...

BOYS & GIRLFRIENDS....?

Boyfrnd & Grlfrnd r like 2 tyres of a vehicle even if 1 puncture, d vehicle can't move further

So

intelligent people always keep an extra tyre.....

ULTIMATE !

nud gight !

lest of buck,

bay mod gless gou,

dweet sream,

cake tare

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yorry.

neend me hu na

sisliye

ippeling

histake mo hahi rai.

Mon't dind.

A SOFT NATURE !

Amean weakness.

soft nature of a person doesnot mean weakness.

remberber, nothing is softer than water, but its force can break d strongest of rocks !

Duaon ki bheed mein !

duaon ki bheed me 1 dua hamari, jisme mange har khushi aapki, jab muskurayen aap dil se,

samjho dua kabul hui hamari....!

Raste me agar koi ladki mile to ....

Raste me agar koi ladki aapko bhai kahe to ghabrana mat...

B positive

uske kaan ke niche 1 zor se thapad marna or bolna yaha kaha ghum rahi h....

ghar ja jaldi..... !

What is a Mobile?

What is a mobile?

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Answer dhoond rahe ho..?

ye haath me kya chappal pakdi hai ?

kaise kaise namune hain ..!

ye hi mobile hota hai...!!

Chuhe & Sherni ....

Chuhe ne sherni ko kiya propose, gift diya use red rose..

Sherni ne kaha ja phele apni surat aaine me dekh.

Chuha bola surat par mat ja pagli confidence to dekh.....

Accha Dost!

accha dost 1 phool ki tarah hota hai, jise hum chhod bhi nahi sakte aur tod bhi nahi sakte

tod diya to murjha jayega or agar chhod diya to koi aur le jayega.

Rule of My frndship !

I wld never mind, if u don't miss me or U don't need me, but U will really hurt me when u need me & u don't tell me...

Agar koi aapko gusse me kahe !

"oye insaan ban ja murakh"

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1 baar koshish karne me koi harz nahi hai, zarur karna....

Cute Fact:

No1 in d world has d ability 2 stop deir tears wen deir loved one's says "Don't leave me, I need u"

Or

"Leave me, i don't need u"....

Never Lok for ......

never look 4 a good face, It will turn 1 day.

never look 4 a good skin, it will wrinkle 1 day.

But look 4 a loyal heart, dat will miss U every day.....

KYA BAAT HAI.....

@ @ @ @ @ @

6 flowers 4 u

1 4 health

2 4 wealth

3 4 happiness

4 4 frndship

or baki 2

kaan pe laga lo

mast lagoge..

@('.')@

arre wah ! Najar na lag jaye....

Who is most benefitted ?

when deit is long gap between engagement & marriage, who is most benefited

Girl? .......NO....

Boy?......NO.....

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D mobile company .....!!!

Zindagi ke 8 hisse hote hain:

1. Padhai

2. Khel

3. Mauj - masti

4. Pyar

5. Shadi

6.

7.

8.

Kya doodh rahe ho

shadi ke baad zindagi khatam......

2011 is coming .......

In advance wish u a very happy new year,

happy frndship day,

Valentine Day,

Independence Day,

Republic Day,

Gandhi jyanti,

Happy Holi

Happy Diwali

aur yaar tum khud laga lo bus sab kuch happy happy ho is saal me aapke saath.....

365 good mornings

Good after Noons,

Good evening

Good Nights

sala roz ka natak hi khatam.

ab pura saal mat kehna k SMS nahi kiya......

SMS OF TODAY!

SARDAR & HIS GIRL FRIEND:
SARDAR PROPOSED GIRL WID A ROMANTIC POEM -

KUTTA MAR GAYA RAZAI ME, MEIN PAGAL HUA TERI JUDAI MEIN....

HAATHI NAALI ME BEH NAHI SAKTA, YE SARDAR TERE BIN REH NAHI SAKTA.....

GOOD MORNING MESSAGE:
Dear customer ur remaining sleeping time has been expired, so plz leave ur bed, open ur eyes & see, I wish u GOOD Morning...

BINDASS !
If u have any problem - bindas tel me, i will help u
If u dont have any prblm - bindass tel me, i will create sum4u !
After all dost hotte kis liye hain ?

ADVERTSIMENT FROM MOBILE MARRIAGE Bureau :
Rishte ke liye 1 dabaye, shaadi ke lie 3 dabaye, sir dusri shadi ke liye kya dabayun...?
.....pehli wali kaa gala..

TIME & SMILE !
Time & smile r 2 amazing things in our life, bec'z sometimes time makes us 2 4get smile n sometimes some1's smile makes us 2 4get time.......

Friends R like Biscuits !
u r Parle, I am G....
u r Marie, I am Gold...
u r Sun, I am Feast...
u r Milk, I am Shakti...
& obviously
U r Krack
I m Jack ...

A man 2 GOD: I want happiness.
God: 1st remove "I" as dat is "EGO"
2nd remove "Want" as dat is "Desire"
now see !
U r left wid only
HAPPINESS...!

AAj Kal?
aaj- kal aapke SMS aana band hai

wah wah

aaj - kal aapke SMS aana band hain

sweater pahen k nikla kariye bahar bahut thand hai...

have a gud day...

PATI & PATNI -
Biwi - aji sunte ho aapka dost 1 pagal ladki se shadi kar raha hai...
aap use rokte Q nahi ?...
Pati - Me q roku

us kamine ne mujhe roka tha kya....

SHADI !
Shadi nahi aasan bus itna samajh lijiye,
K

Finail ki goli hai
choos k khana hai.....
wah! wah !

KINDLY HELP PLZ....
R u Ashish's friend?
I m msg 4m his cell.
if u meet him plz tel him 2 come & take his cell.
he left it in my car on our last date....

From....Aishwarya rai...

SANTA & BANTA
Santa: yaar banta, sir ka msg aaya hai ki aaj extra class hogi, kya karun?

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Banta: "message sending failed" likh ke bhej de...

KYA ZAMANA AA GAYA HAI !
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HAPPY NE Padosi ki ladki ched di...aaj panchayat bulai hai....
agle ke ghar kalesh ho gaya or aap naye saal ki badhai dhund rahe ho...!!

SARADARji
1 sardar ko chand par bhejne kaa failsa hua.
aadhe raste jakar sardar rocket se kood gaya or chillaya dhokha !
Kamino Saalo !
Aaj to amawasya hai, chand to hoga hi nahi....

SMS

GOOD NIGHT !
Charo taraf faili hai moonlight !
Machhar bhi taiyar hai dene ko aapko lovebite !
Pillow ko pakad ke sona Tight !
Bole to mast Sweet Dreams wali GOOD NIGHT !

SMILE !
Smile is electricity & Life is a battery.
Whenever u smile d battery gets charged & a beautiful day is activated.
So keep Smiling !

GAALI Kya hai ?
Krodh ke samay mukh se nikle shabd ya shabdo ka samuh jinke ucharan ke paschat vyakti ke hriday ko shanti ka anubhav hota hai.....

UR Fav. Number !
Choose ur fav. no....
100,150,200,250,300,350,400....

&

No No

Dnt reply

Just

Recharge dt amount 2 my mobile
U will get my Blessings !


GIRL & BOY !

Girl: Dear ! is sunday 1st show ke Balcony k corner wale 2 ticket book kar lena !

Boy: Agar Corner wale nahi mile toh ?

Girl: Toh Movie dekh lenge...


Accident Ho Gaya!

hjb khd sk kuju dw8 9434 3hnr f bk ubs iuy w bd hic bku77 b bgd yi

Ghoor kya rahe ho message ka accident ho gaya hai

jaldi se kuch paise bhejo ilaaz karana hai !


Don't GO !
Don't go 4 looks, dey can deceive.

Don't go 4 wealth even dat fades away.

Go 4 someone who makes u smile becz only a smile makes a dark day seem bright ...


Munni Badnam hui !
1 dost ne dusre dost se 5 saal baad milne per pucha :
yaar tumhare bache papu or munni ka kya haal he
Dost - ji pappu pass ho gaya or munni badnam ho gayi....


GOOD MORNING MSG !

Subah subah zindagi ki shuruaat hoti hai , kisi apne se baat ho to khas hoti hai,
hans ke pyaar se apno ko "good morning"bolo to,khushiyan apne aap saath hoti hain.

Ultimate msg !
Mai market me hu, tere liye diwali pe kya lu ?

Kapde ya perfume ya or koi mast cheez

reply fast....

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Ye msg mujhe kab karoge kanjus diwali ane wali hai...


DUSSHERA MSG !
I pray dis dussehra showers upon u..!
SHANTI
SHAKTI
SAIYAM
SAMMAN
SARALTA
SAFALTA
SAMRIDHI
SANSKAAR
SWASTHYA.

PATI & PATNI !
Patni - tum pehle jitna pyaar nahi karte ho, shadi se pehle to pados ki chhat se kudkar milne ate the

Pati - Ab sochta hun us chat se kud jaun.....

SEASON GREETINGS !
mosam ne li angdai

humne le li razai

icecream se hai ab ladai

mungfali ghar me ayi

colddrink se muh mod liya

coffeee se nata jod liya.

Happy Winter Season !

TOUNGE !

A tounge has no bones but it can break a heart & also it can be a pillar of building 2 a broken heart...

WAH WAH !

Ankhon me ansu,

chehre par hansi hai,

Sanson me aahen.

Dil me bebasi hai,

Pehle Q nahi bataya Darwaze me ungli fansi hai....

RAAVAN & DOCTOR
1 baar, ravan doctor ke pass gaya aur bola mujhe bahut saalo se loose motions ki problem hai...
Doctor: wo toh hogi hi, kunki 10 input h aur 1 output....

FOR PARENTS !

Parents r like 1 unit 4 a child.
nurture ur bond if u aim 2 nurture well balances children.....

Sharabi & Bhagwan !

Ek sharabi mar raha tha to bhagwan prakat hue aur bole - koi antim iccha ?
Sharabi - Prabhu agli baar aankh chahe 1 hi dena, par liver 4 dena....

Santa & DOCTOR !

Santa: Dr. plastic surgery me kitna kharcha ayega?
Dr.: 50000
Santa: Agar plastic hum de to.....

Its Funny !

When people discuss Love vs Arranged Marriage.
Its like asking, if suicide is better or being murdered .

Diwali Msg !
Deepak ki roshni patakhon ki awaz khushiyan ki bauchar apno ka pyaar
mubarak ho aapko diwali kaa tyohar....HAPPY DIWALI

Dino din badhta jaye aapka karobar, pariwar me bana rahe sneh aur pyaar, hoti rahe sada apar dhanki bochar,aisa ho aapka Deepawali ka Tyohar.....

Kumkum bhare kadmo se aaye LAxmi ji aapke dwar, sukh sampati mile aapko apaar,
hamari aur se diwali ki shubh kamnayein karein sweekar.....

PATI & PATNI:

Patni: Andhe pati se kaash tumhari aankhein hoti to tum meri khubsurati ko dekh sakte.
Pati - agar tum khubsurat hoti to kya ankhon wale tumhe mere liye chod dete.....

The SIGN OF MATURITY !
is not wen we start saying "badi badi baatein"...but its actually wen we start understanding "choti choti baatein..."

Ranchordas & Virus !
Ranchordas: 1 over me kitne baal feki jati hai?
Virus: 6 balls.
Rancho: Galat, 1 over me 1 hi ball 6 baar feki jati hai...
Kabil bano ratne se kuch nahi hoga .....

Gabar & Sanbha !

Gabar: Are o sambha ye kaun log hain jo sms ka jawab nahi dete sasure...

Sambha: sardar ye wo log hain jo missed call karne ke baad bhi balance check karte hain.....

Teacher & Student:

Teacher: asked d student what is NOUN?
Student: to arz kiya hai,
kutta bhi apni gali mein hota hai king,
(his frnds wah ! Wah ! Wah ! Wah !) gaur se suniyega sir,

kutta bhi apni gali mein hota hai king,NOUN is d name of any person,place or thing...!

PRABHU PANE KE LIYE !
Sabhi dukhon se mukti ke liye

prabhu ki ye

TASVEER

Dekhiye...





Dikhi


Nahi




Papiyon ko nahi dikhti......

CONFESSION!
AAPko meri kaun si aadat buri lagti hai ?

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kiya to bahut maar khaoge...

Jhonson baby !

Dove se naha kar kya karna hai, 2012 me sabko marna hai, 2 saal khushi se ji le dost, kuonki agle janam me phir johnson baby se shuru karna hai...

SANTA & BILLI !
Santa ke ghar me billi rehti thi...

Santa billi se tang aakar use kahi chhod aaya, ghar aaya to billi usse pehle pahunch chuki thi...
Santa billi ko dobara door chhod aaya, ghar aaya to billi phir usse pehle pahunch gayi thi. tang aakar weh billi ko bahut door chodne gaya, waha jaakar usne aapni wife ko phone karke pucha kya billi pahunch gayi hai, wife boli "HAAN"
Santa: us kamini ko kaho mujhe aake le jaye mein rasta bhul gaya hoon...

Kissing a GIRL !
1. on her forehead is respect
2. on cheek is care.
3. on lips is Love
4. but kissing in front of her father
is


"Hud Hud
DABANNGG
DABANNGG
DABANNGG"

YOUR WISH CAN COME TRUE !

Kya aap SWITZERLAND jana chahte hain?

wahan jakar 5 star hotel me rehna chahte hain?

to visit kijiye hamari website
W
W
W
www.BetaApniAukaatMeRaho.com...

SANTA & LADKI:
Santa ne ek wrong number milaya, kisi ladki ne fone uthaya
Santa: kaun bol raha hai.
Girl: Mai Geeta bol rahi hun, Aap kaun?
Santa: Main, "GURU GRANTH SAHAB".

MATHS PJ...:
usne na ki meri mohabat ki kadar,
wah ! wah !
usne na ki meri mohabat ki kadar
to maine bhi soch liya
TWO PARALLEL LINES NEVER INTERSECT EACH OTHER...

Good Morning MSG:
Aaj pyari si subah boli:uth dekh kya nazara hai, maine kaha ruk pehle msg bhej du us dost ko jo is subah se bhi pyara hai.... GOOD MORNING have a nice day....

SANTA WON LOTTERY !
Santa won lottery worth Rs. 20 Cr.
dealer gave him 11cr after deducting Tax
Santa: oye dealer ya mujhe pure 20cr dede ya mere 20rs vapas kar de....

Zor Kaa Jhatka Hai Dheere Se laga
Kanhi andhera to kahin shaam hai
tumhari har khushi mere naam he
kuch mang karke to dekho teri puri property mere naam hai !

LADKI & LUDKA....oji apna SANTA SINGH ?

Ladki: Meri mummy ko tum bahut pasand aaye ho.
Santa: (sharmate Hue)kuch bhi ho main shaadi tumse hi karunga, aunty se klehna mujhe bhul jaye....

PATI & Patni
Patni: Khidki me parde lagwa do... naya padosi mujhe dekhne ki koshish karta hai...
Pati: 1 Bar thik se dekh lene de... Wo khud parde lagwa lega...

SANTA & DARU
Santa ne daru pi ke apne aapko aaine me dekha aur kaha: isko kahin dekha hai...Oyaad aaya, ye to wahi haramkhor hai jo meri shadi ki album me meri biwi ke saath tha.....

HEER & RANJHA
Heer: Main tumhare ishq me barbaad ho gayi, lut gayi, ruswa ho gayi....
Raanjha: To karamjali mai kaun sa I.A.S. Officer Ban gaya....

WHAT IS LUV ?
U look @ her, she lucks at u?
...No...
Love is wen U both luk @ d world 2gether & d world says "Dey look nice together"....

WHAT VOICE COMES WEN GLASS BREAKS DOWN?

CRASH.....

Nahi yaar

Mummy ki awaz aati hai -"Tod do sab tod do nalayak, tumhare sasural wale ayenge to cold drink lote me pilana....

Crispy CHIPKALI...
Chipkali ko ubal k dhoop me sukha k chips jese crunchi hone k baad, ketchup ooper se dal k khaya jaye to


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Ulti aa jati hai.....Eeeww...yakKKKKKKK....Mummy
dekhlo mujhe bhaiya khaana nahi khane de rahe....

ARZ KAILE HAI....
Style tohar tauba 2,

Wah ! Wah !

Gajab tohar Smile ba,

Wah ! Wah !

Cal/Msg ta tu karbu na,

Khali halla karba ki hamare pass mobile baa...

POSITION OF HUSBAND:
In d family is like "Split A.C."
No matter how loud it is 4m outside, inside d room it is designed 2 remain silent....

WOW !
Dur
se
dekha
to
books
the....

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to pass jane ka to sawal hi paida nahi hota !!!

PLZ PASS DIS MSG
2 all ur frnds:A person wid Blood Group O+ mob no. 9313759739 needs 2 bottles of PEPSI Wid large Pizza...Hurry Up...

SANTA & HIS BOSS:
Santa: Sir, aap apni patni ko party me kyun nahi laate?
Boss: wo gaon ki hai...
Santa: "O sorry, mujhe laga wo sirf aapki hai".

SANTA & BANTA
Santa: jaldi kar khidki se kood, police aa rahi hai...
Banta : Lekin ye 13vi manzil hai.
Santa: abey ye shagun abshagun sochne kaa waqt nahi hai, bas tu kood...

HIGH QUALITY INSULT:
Girl:meri har saans pe 1-1 ladka marta hai....
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Boy: Oh ! to tum koi accha sa toothpaste istemaal kyun nahi karti....

PATI & PATNI:

Pati: m tang aa gaya hun tum roz
Mera Ghar
Mere Bacche
Meri Car
Mera mera hi karti ho kabhi Hamara bhi kaha karo
Ab almari me kya khoj rahi ho?
Patni:Hamara Peticoat...

VIJYADASHMI MSG:

Its not only a festival 2 celebrate a holiday...its a day of win of truth & humanity over evil...
So lets start a new life by killing all evils inside us n celebrate "VIJTYADASHMI"

A VERY FUNNY QUOTE:
"Come like a Racer, Sit like a Yogi, & Go like a King...!"


What's funny


dis slogan was written on a... TOILET DOOR...

DIWALI MSGS:
Asha ka deepak ho,
khushiyon ki jyoti ho,
palko ki seep me,
sapno ke moti ho,
man me umang ho,
priyjan sab sang ho,
AAPKI DIWALI ME JAGMAG RANG HO...

Kumkum bhare kadmo se aaye LAXMI ji aapke dwaar, sukh sampati mile aapko apaar,
Hamari aur se DIWALI ki Shubh kamnayein karein sweekar, Happy Diwali

Swarg se "Laxmiji"
Brahmlok se "Brahmaji"
Vakunth se "Vishnuji"
Kailash se "Mahadevji
&
Jyoti nagar se Ashish & Pooja ki taraf se "Diwali ki Hardik Shubh kamnayein"

SMS !

FUNNY 1 !

Dil ka kaha 1 kaam kar do,
pyari si muskurahat mere naam kar do,
aaj duniya pe 1 ehsaan kar do.
Ghar se naha ke niklo aur pure
Mohalle ko Hairan Kar Do.

Girls Speciality !

Karnataka - Dressing

Chennai - Stylish

punjab - Colourful

Mumbai - Hot

Kashmir - Attractive

U.P. - Kuch quality na ho par attitude ki kami nahi hai...!


Message for Navratres !

Mandir ki Ghanti,
Arti ki thali,
Nadi k kinare suraj ki lali,
jindagi me aye khushiyon ki bahar,
Mubarak ho aapko "Navmi"- ka tyohar.

Laal rang ki chunri se sajaa maa ka darbaar,
harshit hua man, pulkit hua sansaar,
Nanhe -2 kadmo se MAA aaye aapke dwaar,
Mubarak ho aapko Navratre Kaa tyohaar.

Feel d depth of dis sentence -
"God doesnot like d HARDNESS of tounge n Heart dats y he made dem BONELESS"

Kaash AAp....!!!

kash aap bakri hote, hum aapko ghaas khilate or jor se aapke sing hilate.
Aur puchte SMS kon karega tum ya mai !
aur aap pyaar se kehte
Mai....Mai.....Mai.....Mai....

PATNI CHALISA !
Namoh Namoh Patni maharani, tumhari mahima koi na jani
humne samjha tum abla ho, par tum sabse badi bala ho.

Jis din haath me belan awe, us din pati khub chilawe.

Sare bed pe patni sove, pati beth farsh par rove.

tumse hi ghar mathura kaashi, aur tumse hi ghar satyanashi !

Patni chalisa jo nar gave, sab sukh chod param dukh pave.

Bhoot pisach najar aa jave, patni jab asli roop me awe .

Bolo Patni maharani ki jai.


WAH ! WAH !
Har desh ki 1 sarhad hoti hai,
bache ki bhi 1 zidd hoti hai aur kitna intezaar karru tere SMS ka kanjusi ki bhi hadd hoti hai !

3 things 2 rember in Morning !1.

Pehle GOD ko yaad kariye taki aap g sakein.
2. phir mukhe sms kariye taki m G Sakun.
3. phir Naha lia kariye taki Log G sake.....

GOOD NIGHT MESSAGE !
pyari si sweet si neend ke baad raat ke kuch hasin lamho ke baad subah ke kuch hasin sapni ke baad, aapko pyara sa sweet sa GOOD Night...Abhie so jao subah nahi hui...pata nahi tumhari neend me chalne ki bimari kab jayegi...

BAHUT Hi Sweet !

Aisa Karo ....
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ye msg delete kar do !
Main dusra bhajta hoon!


KASAM SE !

Aaj hum diye pe haath rakhkar kasam khate hain ki-roj padenge, class atend karenge, techares ko gali nahi denge, notes banayenge...
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.ABE O ... diye mai phuk kisne Mari be.....

Doctor VS Vakil

Doctor ki galti aur vakil ki galti me difference?

Doctor ki galti zameen k 4 foot niche gaad deti hai aur
Vakil ki galti 4 foot upar....taang deti hai........


A True LOVE STORY !
1nce upon a time true lovers wen for a long walk,

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remaining story I'll tel u when dey come back !

MORE SMS FOR ALL KINDS !

DHANTERAS !
Aayi aayi dhanteras aayi - saath me kitni khushiyan laayi - dhoom machao - mauz manao - aur is saal me bhi khoob paisa kamao. AApko dhanteras ki shubh kamnayein !

ANOTHER ONE
Dinodin badhta jaye aapka karobaar, pariwar me bana rahe sneh aur pyar, hoti rahe sada apar dhan ki bochar, aisa ho aapka DHANTERAS KA tyohar... HAPPY DHANTERAS....!

ONE MORE
D-DHAN
H-Himat
A-Aishwary
N-Nidhi
T-Tej
E-Ezzat
R-Rajyog
A-aarogya
S-Safalta
May God give u all these things Happy DHANTERAS !

EK MACCHAR !

1 machhar suicide karne ke liye chipkali ke samne jaake bola plz eat me but usne mana kar diya
why?
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Kyunki
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Uska
??
Karvachauth Kaa vrat tha !

IS DIWALI !

Is diwali se agli diwali tak aapko
gharwali
bharwali
sabjiwali
fulwali
kaamwali
officewali
dudhwali
sabka pyar mile
happy diwali in advance !

SANTA & TEACHER !

Maths teacher was teaching mathematical conversions:
Teacher - If 1000kgs=Ton
then
for 3000kgs=How much?
Santaji- Ton! Ton! Ton!

WIFE & HUSBAND:

Wife:india jao to saree bhejna dubai jao to jwelery bhejna, france jao to purfume bhejna.
Husband: Narak jaon to kya bheju
Wife: Apna video....

SANTA & NURSE:
Nurse: badhaiyan ji aapke ghar ladka paida hua hai
Santa: Wah G Kya technology hai, biwi meri hospital mein aur ladka ghar paida hua hai...!!

EK BHIKARI RESTAURANT ME!
Bhai sahab zara sabji wali gunjia dena
Restaurant wala: kya?
Another boy: arey ye Momos maang raha hai!!

LION !

Jab lion 3 baar dhadta hai to kya hota hai

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Socho-
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Batao
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nahi pata dimag lagao
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are yaar TOM & Jerry shuru hota hai aur kya !

DIWALI WISHES

Dinodin badhta jaye aapka karobar pariwar me bana rahe sneh or pyar.
Hoti rahe sada aapar dhanki bochar
aisa ho aapka diwali ka tyohar.

With gleam of diyas & d echo of d chants - may happiness & contentment fill ur life.
Wishing u & ur family a Very Happy, Prosperous & Safe Diwali.

I pray 2 God 2 give u SHANTI SHAKTI SAMPATI SWARUP SANYAM SAADGI SAFALTA SAMRIDHI SANSKAR SWASTHA SAMAAN SARASWATI SNEH
SHUBH DIWALI

I WISH U HAPPY DIWALI
I know ye zaldi h par kya karun bahut sare.

Young,
Smart,
beautiful,
frnds ko wish karna hai.
Socha kyo na pehle
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BUZURGO ko nipta lun.

DIWALI KA DIN,
KHUSH HO MAN,
SHUBH HO KARM,
KARO RAM G KA SWAGAT,
OR LAXMIJI DENGI LABH,
TO AAP KO MUBARAK HO DIWALI KA TYOHAR.....

DEEP KA UJALA,
PATHAKHO KA RA RANG,
DHOOPO ki Khushbu,
Pyaar bhari Umang,
Apno ka pyaar-
mubarak ho aapko
DIWALI KA TYOHAR - Maa laxmi apni kripa aap par banaye rakhe....

Rocket=Rs.75/-
Bomb=50/-
Anar=100/-
Phulkhari=40/-
Chakri = 100/-
Total=365/-

wastage of money.
Royakl Stag=300/- Piyo pathakhe apne aap bajange....

Maha Laxmi Namastubhyam,
namastubhyam Sureshwari,
Hari priye Namastubhyam,
Namastubhyam daya nidhe....HAPPY DIWALI

DIWALI par apne hriday me gyan kaa deepak jalao
Jeevan ko parmarth me lagao.....
JAI SHRI KRISHNA....HAPPY DIWALI

Dhan kuber lutayen apna khazana aap par,
mahalaxmi ka noor aap par barse,
Pariwar me bana rahe sneh or pyaar,

deepmala ki tarah jagmagata rahe aapka ghar sansar, maa laxmi ki kripa lekar aaye aapke dwar is diwali ka tyohar.... HAPPY DEEPAWALI

SHAYARI

Dis could kill u, read it @ ur own risk "Aatma chhod gayi sharir purana...


WAH WAH


Aatma chhod gayi sharir purana....
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"A 4 APPLE
B 4 BANANA !

INSAAN

Doob jati hain kashtiyan, jab aate hain tufan
yaden reh jati hai bichad jate hai insaan,
yaad rakhoge to bahut karib paoge... or bhool jaoge to dundhte he reh jaoge....

Diff Btw IGNORANCE & SELF CONTROL

"When u see d mirror, u dont laugh, datz IGNORANCE"
"When i luk at U, I also dnt laugh, Datz SELF CONTROL....

SAVDHAAN
sabhi vivahit bhaiyo se anurodh hai ki aaj sadbhavna aur thande dimag se kaam le, bhuki sherni khatarnak sabit ho sakti hai...HAPPY KARVACHAUTH....

GAL & BOYS
2boys wr folwing 2 gals each gal took rakhi n tied 2 der hands n askd dem "What will u do now"?
1boy 2 another - dude,u marry my sister, i will marry ur sister...

A BANIYA
A bania donated blood to arab guy, he gifted him Ferarri. Bania again donated blood 2 him, he got Rs. 20
Bania: Whats this?
ARAB: Ab meri ragon me tera khoon hai....

KARWACHAUTH

Aye to sang laye khushiyan hazaar, har saal manaye ham ye tyohar, bhar de aapka daman jewellery ke saath, de jaye umren hazar baar baar-Happy Karwachauth....

TIPS 4 CHILD Nurture.
Encourage ur child 2 participate, ragardless of winning or losing. dis spirit will take him ahead in life....

RAAZ KI BAAT

Ye 1 raaz ki baat hai....
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kisi ko mat batana
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nahi bataoge na...!
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wada
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GANGADHAR hi SHAKTIMAAN HAI !

ARZ KIYA HAI
Jo dete hain girl ko tohfe wahi lagate hai unki shadi me sofe
jo jate hain un ke piche, wo ate hai car ke niche
Jo kehte hain unko janu wahi bante hai unke bacho ke MAMU...

ITS U !
Every life in dis world is painted by GOD.
I am thankful 2 him, becz when he painted my life including one beautiful colour like u....

HAPPY NEW YEAR WISH !
Hawaon ke hath arman bheja hai, network k jariye paigam bheja hai, fursat mile to kabul kar lena, delhi se shezade ne 51 din pehle naye saal ka salam bheja hai....

The Four Beautiful thoughts of life:
Look back & get experience !
Look Forward & see Hope !
Look Around & Find Reality!
Look within & find Confidence !

Chalak Lomri di Kahani !
Crow da munda te lomri di kuri phir mile.
Crow was sitting wid maas ka tukda in his muh on da branch.
Lomri ne dekha te sochya Kaam ban gaya mera....
Lomri kehndi plz sing me a song, crow samajh gaya there is something wrong.
Lomri kehndi ur voice is 2 cool.
Crow samajh gaya she is daughter of dat who made my papa fool.
Crow ne maas khaya phir gana gaya.
Moral - Where something is wrong never sing a song....
Understand....

SMS !

SANTA & BANTA
Santa se pucha gaya akal badi ya bhains ?
Santa was confused & after sometime replied: tusi menu ullu samjhte ho kya? Date of Birth to batayi nahin.....

TRUE FRNDSHIP
short msg abt true frndship
Frnd 1: Did u forget me..?
Frnd 2 : (With Smile) I'm Still Alive ...!!

YAAD RAKHNA...
Life me 2 bataien yaad rakhna....

1. Hawa chalti hai to pate hilte hain...
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2. Nahi chalte toh nahi hilte..

BOY & GIRL

Boy: I will climb d talest mountain, swim d deepest sea,walk on hot desert just 4 u.
Girl:So sweet, let's meet in evening.
Boy:Abhi to barish ho rahi,mummy dategi.

KUDI & MUNDA

Munda: mujhse dosti karogi?
Kudi: mere parents allow nahi karte
Munda:Na, mere parents ne to authority letter de k college aashiqui karne bheja hai...

CHOR & SHIELA DIXIT

Chor 2 a lady:- apna paisa nikaal.

Lady: Hey, I am shiela Dixit, Delhi's Chief minister......

Chor: Accha, chal toh phir jldi se hamare paise nikaal......

SMILE!
Smile ever udas never !
Speak ever gumsum never !
Share ever chupana never !
Care ever tension Never !
bcz hum haina aapke saath 4ever......

Ek POET Bana Daaku

Ek poet kangaali se tang aa kar daketi karne 1 bank gaya or kaha,

Arz hai,
takdir me jo hai wahi milega, HandUp, koi apni jagah se nahi hilega....
Fir cashier se kaha...
Apne kuch khawab meri aankho se nikaal do......
Jo kuch bhi tumhare pass hai jaldi se is bag mein daal do...
Bahut koshish karta hu teri yad bhulane ki......
khabardaar koi koshish na kare police ko bulane ki....
bhula de mujhko kya jata hai tera.........
me goli maar dunga, jo kisi ne picha kia mera........

Zehrili Shayari !

Arz kiya hai-
insaan insaan ko das raha hai......
"waah "
"waah"
insaan insaan ko das raha hai.....
saanp...

side mein baith k has raha hai.....

Kavita likh rahi hu :

unhe na thi mere rishton ki kadar,
wah wah
unhe na thi mere rishton ki kadar,
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kavita galat ho gayi,

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rubber do rubber !

Good Morning !

bistar se kijiye thodi se bewafai.....
aapke liye humne ki raat se ladai,
aur itni hasin subah bulai,
uthye janab ab to dhup bhi nikal aai, good Morning....

RESTAURANT of IDIOTs

"Mr. Lee Chu" 4m China & "Mr. Han Tiya" 4m Korea came 2 India & opened a restaurant
But no customer came there
why?
B.coz they named it: "CHU-TIYA's Restaurant"

Octopus Baba !
Choose any no.
10
20
30
40
50
60
70
80
90
100

&
den

I will tell u
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nothing
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Aap logon ko to chaska hi pad gaya hai...

Main kya Octopus Baba hun.....

Ek Baat !

( ',')
<( )> Yaar
! ! Mujhe ek baat batao
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Meri chappal fir gayab hui tum kab baaz aaoge apni in harkaton se.....

MAN & WOMAN !

Man speaks 15000 words daily......
woman speaks 30000 ....
problem starts wen husband comes 4m office after finishing his 15000 words, & den wife starts her 30000.

New Mobile Features with gr8 rates

Ek 800Rs. ka naya mobile jis me
Bluetooth
5Mega Pixel
Double Camera
Touch Screen
Mp3
Radio
8Gb Memory
Internet
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Kuch bhi nahi hai, chahiye to batana......

Ek Petu PATHAN ki kahani!

Pathan- molvi sabah koi aisa tarika batao k mai khau, peeo or mera roza na tute
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Molve - logo se laate khao or gusse ko pee jao sub kuch tutega magar roza nahi tutega...

A nice quote by a good frnd:

I dont care wen u disturb me....
But I get disturbed wen u don't disturb me ...

Quote!

Zeevan me sangharsh aur kathnai hame nirash karne nahi aate balki jeevan se ladke ki prerna dene aate hai....

Shastro me likha hai !
"Pati - Patni ek hi gadi ke 2 pahiye hai...
agar dono me se 1 bhi kharab ho jaye to gaadi nahi chal sakti".
Moral of d story is ...
Stepni Rakho......

Dosti means !

Ek pyara sa dil, jo kabhie nafrat nahi karta
1 smile jo fiki nahi padti
1 ehsaas jo kabhie dukh nahi deta &
1 rishta jo kabhie khatam nahi hota......

Most Innocent Dhamki :

Ek chor ghar me chori kar raha tha tabhie baccha jaag gaya or bola: mera school bag leja warna mummy papa ko utha dunga.......

GOOD Morning!

A msg 2 start ur day
A prayer 2 bless ur way
A cheer 2 perfect ur Day &
A moment 2 say "Take Care & Have a Lovely Day"

FULTOO SHAYARI:

Wah bakri teri bhi kya shaan hai......

Gour Farmaiye.....

Wah bakri teri bhi kya shaan hai.....

Poonch ke niche Hing Goili ki dukaan hai.....

Bikhari & MADAM !

Bikhari: madam ji 1 rupaiya de do...
Madam: tumko road pe bhik mangte sharam nahi aati
Bhikari: to kya tere ek rupaiye ke liye office khol lun.....

Mirror & U !

Dont stand 2 much in front of MIRROR.
even d mirror will fall in luv wid u,
bc'z ur so cute & loving .
For more such Jokes recharge Rs. 30/week 2 my number....

BOYS N GULS

Boy- Tum ladkiyan itni khubsurat kyun hoti ho ?
Girl: Q ki God ne hume apne hathon se banaya hai....
Boy- Bol toh aise rahi hai, jaise hame theke pe diya tha,

NEPALI & sahabji

Nepali: UU Shaabji shyam singh ka mobile kahan milega?
Salesman: Pata Nahi
Nepali : Address to isi dukan ka hai.
Salesman: Abe ye Shyam singh nahi SAMSUNG hai.

HAPPY DIWALI WISH:

Advanced Happy Diwali B careful 4m other duplicate wishers I m only Authorized ISo 9001 -2011 Cartified Distributor of HAPPY DIWALI

BOYS RULE:

hausle sare azma baithe,
hum zamane ke gum utha baithe,
jiski chahat me umar bhar tadpe,
uski shadi me dusri ladki pata baithe----

SANTA & BRIDGE:

Santa ke village me nadi per pul ban gaya.
Thekedaar: Ab bahut accha ho gaya....
SANTAji: Oji pehle dhoop me tair ke nadi paar karte the, ab chaav m tair kar....

SANTA & MUCHEIN:

Santa ne shaving ki dukan kholi...
Banta uske yahan shave karvane aaya...
Santa: Muchein rakhni hain?
Banta: Haan !
Santa (Muchein Kat kar) : Ye le.....rakh le...

WAIT & SCROLL DOWN

WAIT

Wait


Wait

WAit

Cool

Relax

Ok


Ready


Start



5





4




3






2







1







Now: GOOD MORNING.............

SANTA & TAXI:

Santa ke ghar memaan aaye, biwi boli jaoji kuch le aao....

Oji apne santa sahab TAxi le aaye....JAI HO>.....

MUNNI VOl. 2....

Munni badnam hui darling tere liye...

munni ke daat chamkile, gaal hai pile, sing nukile re....

woh jungli sand hui

Darling tere liye.....

DO U KNOW?

do u know which is d best part of life??
its simple...
"when ur family understands u as a frnd, & ur frnds supports u as ur family...."

Ek BAAT PUCHOON?

1 baat puchoo? maze me mat talna
gol mol jawab nahi chalega
dekho kuch batein zindagi me bhot aham hoti hai


sach sach batao



IS DIWALI


NAHAOGE NA...?

BOY N GIRL
Ek boy bike se jaa raha tha ladki ko dekh achanak gir gaya
Ladki- oh my god, lagi to nahi?
Boy-are nahi re pagli hum to aise hi bike se utarte hain..

ARZ KIYA HAI

1 pyari si surat
1 masum sa chehra
thodi shararat thodi mohabbat
thoda maza
jiski pyari hai har 1 ada
uska SMS padhne ka shukriya shukriya......

SMS

BACHE AUR PAPA
1 baccha pitne ke baad apne papa se: papa kabhie aap africa gaye ho?
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Papa : nahi beta
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Bacha: phir itni khofnak item kahan se le aaye............

ZINDAGI MEIN......

Zindagi mein jo cheez asani se mile
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DOKHA
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Jo Mushkil se mile
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KHUSHI
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Aur jo bade nasib walon ko mile
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AB mein apni tarif kya karun

COLLECTING SOMETHING UNIQUE.....
From 2nd Oct, I am collecting Gandhiji's photos.
I need ur contribution....
Toh ghar mein jitne bhi 50/100/500/1000 ke notes ho,
sab mujhe bhej do.....

I just LOVE BAPU........

GANDHI JYANTI.....
Waah re Gandhi....kya chali teri aandhi.....aaya tha langaot mein....ur ghus gaya..... 5...10...20...50...100...500...1000..... ke note me HAPPY GANDHI JYANTI.....

LANKAPATI RAVAN....

Aaj lankapati ravan ki 98000vi barsi he, unki yad me ye sms kam se kam kisi 1 rakshas ya 1 bhutni ko jarur send karo........... maine to apna kaam kar diya...... "Jai Lankesh".....

ARZ KIYA HAI......
Ek sa dil sab ke pass hota hai

fir kyon nahi sab pe vishwas hota hai

insaan chahe kitna hi aam kyon na ho....

kisi na kisi ke liye wo zarur khass hota hai.....

ANOTHE SHER ARZ KIYA HAI......

tujhse naraz nahi zindagi hairan hun mein....

Wah wah
Wah wah

Tujhse naraz nahi zindagi hairan hun mein....

koi naya msg nahi ban raha pareshan hun main.........

LAILA & MAJNU......
Laila ne majnu ko 1 ped ke picche dekha or boli Tum majnu ho na....

Majnu bola, haan main majnu hun...

Fir kuch second baad use jhadiyon ke piche dekha to boli

Tum majnu hona?

Wo bola haan...

Fir kuch secnd baad use diwar ke piche dekha or kaha tum majnu ho na?

haan kamini haan main majnu hi hoon..... ab potty karne degi k nahi.....

I LUV U MSG......
Santa - aaj tere cell pe bade " I Luv U " ke msg aa rahe hai !

Kya baat hai?

Banta: Fakr se, O kuch nahi ji aaj biwi ka cell laya hun na.....

LIFE IS SMALL....

Life is small, live it!
Anger is injurious dump it!
Troubles r momentary, face it !
Memories r sweet, cherish it !
U r good i agree but, I am 2 Good, accept it !

CAR KA STEERING......

Sardar call wife -Ghar nahi aa sakta, car ka steering gear brake sab chori ho gaye...

After 1 Hour, he calls.

Aa raha hoon, galti se pichi wali seat pe baith gaya tha......

DIL AUR PYAAR....
Dil hai to pyar hai.....Pyar hai to Ishq hai.........Ishq hai to mohabat hai..... Mohabat hai to dard hai........ dard hai to zandu baam hai.....aur zandu baam hai to to to to to to...

Munni badnam h........

Ek Raat 2 Baje.......
Ek raat do baje bht tez barish ho rahi thi, santa ne 1 admi ke ghar ka door knock kiya aur poocha dhaka laga doge kya? plz......

Admi nind me tha isliye mana kar k andar a gaya.....use guilty feel hua......socha barish me koi meri help na karta to ?

wo utha aur bahar ja ke bola - kahan dhakka lagana hai......

Awaaz aayi haan

Admi- thik hai tum ho kahan?

Santa - Yahan garden me Jhule per...........

SMS OF ALL KINDS!

5 ghante jindagi ke
Doctor: Tuhaadi patni sirf 5 ghante di mehmaan hai.
Santa : Koi gal nahi doctor sahibji. jithe 25 saal nikal gaye othe 5 ghante hor sahi....!

Zimedari ka ehsaas
(',')/
(! !)Oh hello.
! !
sun rahe hai ya nahi ?

(' ,')
Mujhe SMS
! ! kya aapke padosi karenge
kya ? zimedari ka ehsaas hi nahi rah logon me.
chaliye sms kijiye

CAUTION PLEASE !
plz 4rd dis msg 2 all those, 2 whom u care most
don't eat "PHOOL GOBHI" bcz a new virus H.B.F. ( High Bone Fever) is spreading 4m it.
FROM: AIIMS (Delhi)

LOOSE CHARACTER
Santa: tumne apni bii ko talak kyun de diya?
Banta - Character ki sahi nahi thi, shadi mujhse ki aur bache bhagwan se mang rahi thi.

RING
a girl wanted a ring. But d boy gave her a teddy. In anger, d girl thre d teddy on d road. the boy went 2 take it back but as hit by a car nd died. At his funerald girl hugged d teddy hardly n d machine in it spoke - "will u marry me ? the ring is in my pocket"?

HAVE PATIENCE!
It takes several years 4 a seed 2 become a tree. a flower takes months 2 blossoms, so have patience 4 any thing 2 happen in life.

LOVE SOMEONE who???
Duniya me do logon se sabse jyada pyaar karna chahiye
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. ek
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vo jisne aapko janam diya ho aur
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jisne aapke liye janam liya ho......

HABIT
Be honest in ur ans, meri koi 1 acchi or koi 1 buri aadat......
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batane ki koi zarurat nahi....
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pehle apne girebaan me jhanko, or khud ko sudharo......


Boy: ro q rahi ho?
Girl: mere marks bahut kam aaye hain..
Boy: bata kitne aye hai?
Girl: Sirf 88%
Boy: khuda ka khauf kar zalim itne me to 2 bache pass ho jate hain !

BOOK
Guy in a book store. Do u have a book called "Men The perfect intelligence"?
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Sales girl: 'the comic department is on the other side, sir...."

First Time sher on NOSE:
Kadam kadam pe hawa ki dasha ka dhyan rakhna, mushkil samay me bhi dosti ko yaad rakhna. hamari yadon ki khushboo zarur ayegi tum bus apni Nossy saaf rakhna.....

What is NOUN?

to arz kiya hai....

kutta b apni gali m hota hai king

Wah wah ! Wah Wah !
Kutta bhi apni gali m hota he king

Noun is d name of a person, place or thing.....

Unlimted Talktime:

Anil ambani was suffering 4m loose motion.
He went 2 adoctor
Dr. asked him: what's ur problem?
Ambani: unlimited free outgoing with variety of ringtones.

HUSBAND & WIFE :

newly married husband saved wife's number on mobile as "My Life"
After 1yr:
"my Wife"

After 5 yrs:
"HOME"

After 10 yrs:
"HITLER"

& after 25 yrs:
"WRONG NUMBER"

SANTA & BANTA:

Santa: mera ghar itna bada hai ki andar local train chalti hai...
Banta: mera to itna bada ghar hai ki 1 kone me chale jao to roaming lag jati hai....

KYUNKI GEETA ME LIKHA HAI:
Padai karo fail hone se mat daro, ladki chedo jute khane se mat daro, ladki ko propose karo inkar se na daro, quki GEETA me likha hai, karam kar phal ki chinta matkaro....

CAUTION:
KAMZOR dil wale ye msg na padeh
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zid mat karo.
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mat padho.
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yaar mat padho.
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ok lo padh lo
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yaar 50/- ka recharge kara de....it's urgent !

Dharmender style:
\('.')/
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! ! Duniya walon !!!
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kuch nahi, apna kaam karo... !

SASTE SHAMPOO KA KAMAL:

;;;;;;;;;;
;;; o o ;;;;
;;; -- ;;;;

;;;;;;;;
;; o o ;;;
'. -- ,,

, - -.
; o o ;
'. - ,

aur karo sastey shampoo istemall ....!

Quote:

very beautiful sentence 2 life: "everybody seems 2 be special at first sight but only very few will remain special 2 u till ur last sight ."

ZINDA REHNE KE LIYE:

Science teacher : Bacho zinda rehne ke liye kya zaroori hai?

Boy itna bhi nahi pata mam?

"Zinda rehne ke liye teri kasam ek mulaqat zaroori hai sanam"

NEW & OLD UMRAOJAAN:

Media walon ne abhishek se pucha.... what is d difference between new & old umraojaan.

Abhishek says not a big difference, nai se apni setting hai or purani se PAA ki.....

R U Feeling bored?

No prblm do something special.....

10 baar jaldi- jaldi bolo....

"Roti kha ke potty jaun, potty jaa ke roti khaun..."

Try it !

GAY ACT:

The best outcome of decriminalisation of GAY act 377..

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"Ab to saala bhi aadha ghar wala hai"......

SANTA BANTA & JHIPKALI:

Dr. - Jab aapko pata tha chipkali kaan me ghus rahi hain to aap chup q rahe?

Santa - pehle cockroach gaya tha to mujhe laga ki wo use pakadne ja rahi hai....

BILLI & CHOR:

Ek chor chori karne ek ghar me ghusa:

Malik - kaun hai...??

Chor - Miyaun...

Malik - kaun hai..??

Chor - Miyaun

Malik - Kaun hai ...??

Chor - Saale billi hun billi .... !!!!

NEVER REPLY NO:

Der r some fools in dis world, who always reply "NO" 2 every question we ask, isnot it???

Now u tell me ...

"R U DAT KIND OF A PERSON...?

NASA & U & ME:

Imagine

U & Me join
NASA...

After 1 month

The amricans will have 2 change d name from NASA 2.....

"SATYANASA" apna talent hi aisa hai...!!

PRINCIPAL ARGUED:

Once engineering & medical college principal argued dat their students r more brave then others.

Medical college principal called his student 2 jump in d sea full of shark,

his student jumped...

Then he said "See d guts".

When engineering college principal said his student to jump, then the student - "PAAGAL HAI KYA SAALE ".

Engineering College Principal - 'Now see d guts".

2 cheezen jiski duniya deewani:

is duniya me do hi cheezein aisi hai

jiski duniya deewani hai

1st TAJMAHAL

&

2nd - AAP

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ne muje to dekha hi hoga.....

BHOOT TAKLKING:
1st Bhoot - tu kaisa mara?
2nd Bhoot - Jyada thand se aur tu ?
1B - Biwi pe shak tha, pura ghar dhunda koi nahi mila, sharm se mar gaya...
2b - "Kamine freeze kholta to dono bach jaate..."

GIFT:

Mubarak ho sab se kam SMS karne per aapko milta hai 1 khubsurat 180 cc ka gadha......

GITA UPDESH:

Mobile nirjiv hai sim iski atma hai sam woh gyan hai jo batane se badta hai is liye hey prani balance ki moh maya tyag kar nirantar SMS bhejte rahiye...

Enjoy New SMS !

An AMAZING STORY of a Girl Child who can predict: Beat this! A lady is pregnant wid girl child who had d power 2 predict future..... another pregnant lady named 'sapna' is carrying a male child who is going 2 be d future husband of d previous lady's girl child.... when dis girl child sees sapna in her nano car through her moms womb....she starts singing 'nano me sapna, sapno ,me sajna ....sajna pe dil aa gaya...ke sajna pe dil aa gaya.....

About Parenting : Only a happy parent can nurture a happy child, relax control ur bad moods, smile 4 ur child's sake.......

WHY FRIENDS ?
Rn't frnds a necessity in life??
Assume urself widout any true n sincere frnd
how wld u feel at places like mcdonalds....pizza hut ??
wat will u do wid ur cell phone??
what abt parties ?
think abt events like ur bday
who will ask u abt ur worries??
whose gona tel abt their mood swings??
who will tease u pairing wid others??
who will take care.....
Happy 2 have u in my life....
4wrds it 2 all idiotic loving frnds widout whom ur life would not have been such a lovable mess....

MUMMY: A roman girl asks an egyptian boy, what can u do 4 me?
Boy said - cum behind d pyramid, i will make u mummy.....

Through ur mobile away: wash ur mobile cut it in2 small pieces, fry it add spices n some oil ur mobile. pickle is ready. Do it if u dont call or SMS me...

WHICH DEPARTMENT? Teacher; wo kaunsa department he jisme aurtein kaam nahi kar sakti...
Student: Fire Bigades....

Teacher : Kyun????

Student: Aurtaun kaa kaam aag lagana hota hai, bhujana nahi.....

ADVICE TO RELIANCE BROTHERS: Mukesh & Anil have been adviced 2 take large doses of HAjmola

WHY???

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Becz Hajmola guarantees 2 solve all ur GAS problems.... !!

BEWAFA KI YAAD ME JAM: us bewafa ki yaad mein jam hatho mai utha liya...
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Phir uthai bread lagaya jam or fatafat khaa liya....
wah !! wah !!

FRESH SMS

!! May Lord ganesha protect u & ur family bless u wid joy & fill ur home wid prosperity & fortune. Wish u a happy Ganesh Chaturthi. !!

!! Kuch log acchi yadon ki tarah hote hain, jinhe yaad kar ke dil khush ho jata hai or jinko bhulana namunkin hai
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. aap unhi me se 1 ka msg padh rahe hain.... !!

!!! Ganesh Chaturthi ki hardik badhai. Bhagwan vinayak aapki har manokamna puran kare.....- Bolo Ganpati bappa Moriyaa... !!!

!!! sardar ko chand par bhejne ka faisla hua.. Aadhe raste jakar sardar rocket se kood gaya or chillaya ... DHOKA !! kamino aaj to amawas hai, chand to hoga hi nahi.... !!!

!!! 6 Birds 9all females 0 were sitting on a tree.

A hunter saw dat nd shot over tree.

5 birds flew away but 1 bird was sitting.
Why?.
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.nakhre hain madam ke !!!!

!!!! 4 guys 1 4m HOWARD, 1 4m OXFORD, 1 4m TEXAS & a SARDAR 4m punjab university.

1 common question : what is d fastest thing in d world?

OXFORD: LIGHT

HOWARD: THOUGHT

TEXAS: Blinking of an eye.

SARDAR : its loose motions, bcz last night when i was lying in my bed & b4 i cud blink, think or turn on d lights it was over...... !!!!

!!! Girl - sir, all boys called me DIDIJi

SIR - Stand up who call her Didi ji ?

all boys stand up except one.

Sir- why r u not standing

Boy - Becz i am jijaji..... !!!!

!!!! "To have good relations wid all, we shld keep our nature like a theatre scree.

it accepts all characters but remains peacefully white ! !!!!

!!! 1 traffic policewala budhiya se 0- Mai kitni der se siti baja raha tha aap ruki Q nahi ?

Budhiya - Beta ab meri siti sunkar rukne ki umar hai kya ???? !!!!

!!! Ladki: Meri mummy ko tum bahut pasand aaye.

Santa : sharmakar, kuch B ho main shadi tumse hi karunga apni mummy se kehna mujhe bhul jaye. M tumhe dhoka nahi de sakta... !!!

SMS TO ENJOY !

## Sometimes we maintain a silence 2 protect a beautiful relation, but 2 much silence creates a distance in every beautiful relation! So keep talking wid ur loved ones. ###

##Only a lovable frnd can feel ur silent pain & will hold ur hand till u become strong again. I am here 4 u always.... ###

## Snake ne kiya mouse ko bite

Wah! Wah !

Snake ne kiya mouse ko bite

Wah ! Wah !

Who cares ? So jaaoo Good Night ... ###

## Kya aapko HAPPY ka full form pata hai

H- Hum
A- Apko
P-Pal
P-Pal
Y-Yaad
Karte Hain....
tussi bhi sanu kabhie HAPPY kar liya karo ..... ###

## 1 bacha door bell bajane ki koshish kar raha tha, 1 old man ne dekha....

Wo gaya aur bell baja di, Aur bola : Aur kuch beta ?

Baccha: ab bhaag Budhe .... ###

## The most romantic lines : main kho gaya hu tere pyaare me....tum bhi kho jao.....

In english translation :

"I m lost in ur Love, u also get lost..... ###

## Tantrik Santa se- "beta tumhare ghar par chudel kaa vaas hai...."

Santa - "baba main thappad maar dunga jo meri biwi ke bare me kuch kaha to ... !! ###

## Son 2 his DAD:-
Dad aap kabhie Egypt gaye the kya?
DAD: Nahin beta, kyun ?
Son: Phir itni khatarnaak "mummy" kahan se laye.... ##

## Santa: Hamme yahan nahi rehna, hamare paise wapas karo. Itna chota sa kamra aur ek stool bus. Hum kya janwar hain...
HOTEL MANAGER- Sir, kamre mein to chalo ye to lift hai.... ###

## I requested God let my frnds be happy & healthy forever. God said 4 days only. I said ok spring, summer, autumn & winter day. He said no only 3 days, I said ok. Yesterday, today, tomorrow. He said no only 2 day. I said brightday & nightday. He said no only 1 day. I said Ok.. "Everyday". God laughed & said OK. ###

## teacher : to a dull boy, if u have 12 chocolates & u give 5 2 Leena, 3 to teena & 4 to meena, then what will u get ?
Student: 3girl friends.... ###

## Ummid ki imaarat ban gayi WAH ! WAH !
ankhon se aansuo ki nadiya beh gayi WAH ! WAH !
tumhari kya izzat reh gayi jab tumhari girl friend tumhe bhaiya keh gayi WAH ! WAH ! WAH! WAH ! ###

## Making a million frnds is not a miracle, the miracle is 2 make a frnd who will stand with u when millions are against u.... ###

## I need ur frndship
I need ur Company
I need ur support
I need ur advices
I want 2 b like u
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maine barbaad hone kaa faisla kar liya hai bus ... !!!! ###

## Girl: LADKA dikhne mein kaisa hai

Brother: Ladka dikhne mein FILM ke hero jaisa hai

Girl: Kounse film ka hero...?
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"PEEPLI LIVE apna NATTHA YAAR !!! ###

## "Om bolne se man ko shanti milti hai...
'SAI" bolne se mann ko shakti milti hai...
"RAM" bolne se paapon se mukti milti hai...

To dil se bolo "OM SAI RAM" ###

## "apart 4m water, we've discovered d presence of whales & sharks on d moon" - PAKISTAN

"Satellite launched by pakistan found in Arabian sea! - NASA ! ###

## Ye naya injection

---------<"_"_"_"_"_"_"]==()

jo msg nahi karte hai unke liye....
Jab asar karne lagega to reply apne aap ane lagenge... ###

## GOD ne din banaya naam diya AFTERNOON,

Raat ki roshni banayi, naam diya Moon,
Soch samajh kar tumhe banaya or naam diya "CARTOON" ... ###

## Bye is a word tat causes so much pain. D person V hold now mite never meet us again. So never say bye, say meet u again. ###

## Chotte log paise ki baat karte hain,

Bade log time ki baat karte hain,

mahan log to baat hi nahi karte wo sirf SMS karte hain,

Aur sweet log sirf padhte hain ! ###

NEW AND FUNDOO SMS!

SMS KARNE KE 5 FAYDE

1. MOBILE KO JANG NAHI LAGTA

2. TIMEPASS HO JATA HAI

3. AAP JISE SMS KARENGE WO KHUSH

4. CONTACT BANA RAHEGA

5. AAPKO KOI KANJUS BHI NAHI KAHEGA

(((( Seriously i sent u many msges but u didnot reply a single msg....so i am deleting ur num....U r no more my wellwisher.....Good bye...TOM sent dis msg to customer care )))))))

(((( 1 hai aasman ka tara to dusra hai samundar kaa kinara.

Bewafa hai zamana sara, par naseeb hai accha hamara, jo mila hai 1 rishta aap jaisa pyara.....)))))

(((( DON ka intezar 11 degree colleges ki ladkiyan kar rahi hain lekin DON ka aana mishkil hi nahi namunkin hai, kyunki don.

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.inter me fail ho gaya hai ....))))))

(((((( mubarak ho aapko sabse kam msg karne per

Apne jeeti hai ek khubsurat 1800CC

HOCHI HONDA...)))))

((((( SHut down ur eyes log on sum memories.... download sum dreams... save sum joy... delete all ur sorrows... have a nice computerised sleep... Good noght take crae....)))))

(((( Mandire ke bahar chappal rakhne me aur missed call karne me dono me kya common hai....

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Dono me dar laga rehta hai koi utha na le....)))))

(((( Lefe me ek baat hamesha yaad rakhna....

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Cream biscuit me cream hota hai, per .

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Tiger biscuit me kabhie tiger nahi hota...)))))

(((( Bhagwan Ram lanka jeet kar ayodhya vapas lautne lage to soorpnakha ne poocha: "prabhu, mera kya hoga? "Ram bole:"kalyug me mayawati k naam se tera punarjanam hoga ...! Laxshman se tere lagaav ke vajah se tu lakshmanpuri (Lucknow) naamak shahar se raaj karegi...! Lekin teri shaadi phir bhi nahi hogi...!!!! )))

(((( Adivasi area me 1 teacher ki posting hoti hai. to unka pehle question students ke liye - pehlewale teacher kaise the.....

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Students - bahut swadisht they..... ))))

((((( Jabse mobile em hanuman chalisa download kiya ta se tumhare msg or phone ane band ho gaye....

Such hai" Bhoot pichach nikat nahi awe, mahavir jab naam sunave" )))))

(((( Experiencing failure is an important tasting victory. At times, even more important. )))))

(((( Wife - mere khayal se hamari beti ki kisi ladke ke saath setting ho gayi hai...

Pati - Wo kaise...

Wife - Qyuki wo kafi dino se mobile recharge k liya paise nahi maang rahi.... )))))

((((( Nice & Important fact: Life is not about the people who act true in ur presence... It's about d people who remain true in ur absence " ))))

(((( Mandir me pujari purush q hote hain ????

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Taki aadmi ek time pe ek jagah ho dhyan laga sake.... ))))

(((( So d sun can rise...

Flowers can blossom....

Birds can sing...

Bcoz

AA r waiting 2 see ur beautiful smile )))))

(((( Phir usko dua di humne, koi to baat hai us me nadaan, har khushi jis pe luta di hum ..... )))))

(((( Devdas- Papa ne kaha haveli chod do...Maa ne kaha paro ko chod do..... Paro ne kaha sharab chod do ... 1din ayega jab paro ke bache kahenge MAMA zara school jhod do.... ))))

(((( Boy- apne ghar walon ko chod diya tere liye... sabse rishta tod diya tere liye.... .

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tune aaj tak kiya hi kya hai mere liye????

Girl : Munni badnaam hui darling tere liye...... ))))

(((( Operation ke baad patient bola : "Doctor saheb kya ab mai ROG MuKT hun...? Samne se jawab mila : " Beta, Doctor saheb to dharti par reh gaye, mai to CHITRGUPT hun....))))

((((

SMS FOR JANMASHTHMI -

kanha ki masti

radha ka pyaar

Meera ki prarthna

Yashoda ka dulaar

Shri Krishan Janmastami k tyohar par khushiyan aaye aapke dwaar.....))))

(((( SMS FOR JANMASHTHMI-

"Natkhat bansi wale gokul ke raja, meri ankhiyan taras gayi ab to aaja"

Mrli manohar

Brij ki dharohar,

Wo nandlala

Gopala hai,

bansi ki dhun per sab dukhon ko harne wala hai, sab milke machaye dhum ki krishna aane wala hai.....

)))))

(((( 1 sardar ne apni car ke niche kutte ko lete hue dekha to kutte ko 1 dum se kheecha aur kaha " bahar nikal, bada aaya mechanical engineer banne"

(((( Sometimes v think y frnds keep frwarding msg 2 us without speaking a word, d reason is v have nothing 2 say but still want 2 keep in touch 4ever! ))))

(((( So jaiye palko me lekar sapne dher sare, aapko kare salaam ye chand or tare, khuda se dua karenge aaj ki raat, ki pure ho aapke armaan sare... ))))

(((( U r born original dont die as a copy. Dnt cry if some1 does not like u

u were not put on earth 2 plz any1.

life is a 2expressful not 2 impress any1. ))))

(((( Ab ke yun dilko saza di humne, uski har baat bhula di humne, Ek - Ek Phool bahut yaad aaya, shaakh-e-gul jab woh jala di humne

Aaj talak jis pe woh sharmate hain, baat woh kab ki bhula di humne, shehar-e-jahan Rakh se abaad hua, aag jab dil ki bujha di humne

Aaj phir yaad bahut aaya woh ))))

(((( Delhi

AIRPORT

PAR

MUMBAI

KI

FLIGHT

NO. 9

K

PLANE

KI

SEAT

NO. 52

PAR

BAITHE

PASSENGER

K

SAATH

KHADI

AIR

HOSTESS

K

BOY

FRIEND

K

GHAR

K

BED

ROOM

K

KITCHEN

K

SAMNE

K

RIGHT

SIDE

WALI

WINDOW

K

SAATH

WALI

GALI

K

PEHLE

MOD

PAR

SCHOOL

KI

CLASS

7TH

K

TEACHER

K

TABLE

K

SAMNE

WALI

ROW

KE

7TH

BENCH

KE

SAATH

WALI

BENCH

PAR

BAITHE

HUE

STUDENT

K

BAG

ME

PADI

HUI

HINDI

KI

BOOK

K

PAGE

NUMBER

57

KI

LINE

NUMBER

10

ME

LIKHA

THA

' kISI KO ITNA PARESHAN KARNA BURI BAAT HAI " )))))

(((( The 1 who can sense ur sadness in ur smile, can hear ur words in ur silence, n can feel ur love in ur anger, trust dem bcz dey r indeed ur real frndz. ")))

(((( Zindagi...bhi cigarette ki tarah hoti hai, enjoy karo....... .

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Warna... Sulag to rahi hi hai, khatam waise bhi ho jayegi ....Keep Enjoying ))))

(((( TOM chaku se apne haath ki ungli kaat raha tha, uski biwi boli kya rahe ho ? Santa bola mujse dettol gir gaya tha, socha kyu barbaad karun ))))

(((( Kaisa lagta hai jab

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.Barsaati pani me, .

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Hawa k jhonkon ke sang.

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.Khamishi se chalte hue

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Koi aapka haath thaam ke haule se keh de.

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niche GOBAR hai, zara dhyan se !

))))

(((( A CUTE LOVE STORY:

An old couple recall their young days & go 4 date as dey did 60years ago..... He reached d decided place on tym & waited for 2 hrs, but she did not came.

Frustuated, he returned hiome, saw her sitting & asked,"y didnot u cum ?"

Shyly, she replied,"Mom didnot allow".......))))

(((( Many a tyms v lose our bst budies cz v r unable 2 xpress hw spcl dey r 2 us...

So dis msg is only 2 let u know dat u r 1of d best budies whm i dnt wana loose....))))

(((( Ek ajeeb haqiqat-

100 Rupye ka note bahut zyada lagta hai jab, garib ko dena ho,magar hotel me baithe ho to bahut kam lagta hai.....

3min ishwar ko yaad karna bahut mushkil hai, magar 3hrs ki film dekhna aasan....

Pure din mehnat k baad gym jana nahi thakata, magar jab apne hi ma-baap k per dabane ho to log tang aa jate hain....

Look at life with different angles.....))))

(((( Boss said santa 2 bring 2 corner tickets for a movie to go wid his girlfrnd

Santa brought 2 corner tickets.....

A1.....................................A40

Santa Rocks.....))))

(((( Koi hai jo dua karta hai, apno mein hume bhi gina karta hai bahut khush naseeb samajhte hain khud ko ki dorr hokar bhi koi yaad kiya karta hai.... ))))

SMS

%%%
1 Pagal :Me is Mental hospital me naya aaya hun......

Mujhe yahan pagalon ke sardar se milna hai

2 pagal: sssshhhh....Chup Aawaz mat karo boss msg padh rahe hain..... %%%%%%

%%%%

%%%%

FRESH SMS !

++++ Tom : Dekh teri biwi ko saap kat raha hai ...

Jerry : Chinta mat kar yaar, saap ka zeher khatam ho gaya hai, recharge karwane aaya hoga...

++++

\\\\////
(@..@)
(~)
Tohar passport size photowa humar ghar pe chhutal rahil....

bachha logan sab darat rahi.

Kutwa pura din bhokat raha....

ekra vapas leila....

++++ Dekho phirse barsaat aa gayi,

tanhayi me waqt bitane ki baat aa gayi

Hum to yuhin nihar rahe the barish ke pani ko,

mendak ko dekha to aapki yaad aa gayi.....

++++ Old man ladki se takraya
Old Man - Sorry
Girl - Stupid

Tabhie ek ladka us se takraya Ladka - Sorry

Girl - Its Ok

Old Man - Meri sorry ki kya spelling galat thi kya?.....

++++ Aapko suchit kiya jata hai k 24th August ko mobile band rakhen, kyonki kuch sararti ladkiyan h jo Rakhi SMS kar sakti hai.....Aaapki zara si laparwahi aapko BHAI bana sakti hai.....

++++ Zindagi se badi sazaa hi nahi aur kya jurm hai pata hi nahi .....

Itne hisson me batt gayi hoon main, mere hisse me kuch bacha hi nahi....

sach ghate ya badhe to sach na rahe, jhooth ki koi intehaan hi nahi......

jad to chandi me chahe sone me, aaenaa jhoot bolta hi nahi....

zindagi se badi sazaa hi nahi aur kya jurm hai pata hi nahi.....

++++ Arz kiya hai.....

Chahate hain hum aapse aisi dosti ka wada

Chahate hai hum aapse aisi dosti ka wada

jaise...
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VIM baar ghule kam or chale jyaada.......

++++ Pyaar ke mamle me hum thode kacche hain,

Magar Dosti k mamle me bade sache hain....

Hamari dosti bus isi baat par kayam hai.....

Ki hamare dost humse bhi acche hain....

++++ Har jagah Toofan sa Aaya hai,

Chaaro taraf hahakar machaya hua hai,

Jisko dekho lab pe 1 hi naam chhaya hai,

Jab bhi bajti hai msg tone, to sab bolte hain lo fir se "Ashish Singhal" ka msg aaya hua hai....

++++ Any Time
Any Problem
Any Help
Just
Give ME
One Miss Call
I will
Give u
Another
"Miss Call"
.......Ha....ha...haa.....

++++ A smile is a sign of joy

A hug is a sign of Love

A laugh is a sign of happiness
&
A frnd Like me .......

Wel dats a sign
of ur Good karma of Picchle Janam... Good Day !

++++
Dost 1 aisa "Chor" Hota hai jo:

Aankho se "AANSU"
Chehre se "Pareshani"
Dil Se " Mayausi"
Zindagi se har "Dukh"
aur
Hathon ki Lakiron se "MAUT"
tak chura leta hai....

++++ Ek Din sardar ne bahut sunder ladki dekhi aur socha......

Bahut socha.....
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Kya Socha...
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Kaash ye meri maa hoti to main bhi itna sunder hota !

++++ Har roz roshni ke hazar sitare niklen, aap ki ankhon me haseen nazare niikle, jail me hum bhi gaye aapke saath, jab aapke chori ke mobile me sabse zyada sms hamare nikle.....


++++ "GOOD MORNING"
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"Just for U..."
Must for U..."
"First for U..."
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"Nothing 2 Wish"
"Nothing 2 Say"
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"Always be happy"
"its my pray"
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++++ Frnds r special never go away.
They walk beside us everyday....
Unseen...
Unheard...
Missed... but
very dear... dont forget them

++++ How 2 increase positive thinking?....

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Ans: Watch fashion TV Bcz u always think theek hai ye nai gayi to agli model kuchh dikhayegi...

++++ Santa ji got a SMS from his Girl - frnd

Written as...

"I Miss U"

Santaji, ne apna dimaag laga ke do ghante baad reply bheja...

"I Mr. U" !!

++++ A good thought of d day -

Once a dad took his son to a village to show poverty....

After d trip he asked his son about poverty....., what d son replied was:-

"Dad we have one dog, dey had four .....

We have small pool, dey have long river......

We have lamps, dey have stars.....

We have small piece of land, dey have large fields...

We buy food, dey grow theirs...."

The Boy's dad dad was speechless....

Then Boy said - "Thanks Dad 4 showing me how poor we are actually........

What we learn 4m dis: Our life is set all about how we see, interpret & accept things in life......

++++ TOM jalebi bech raha tha magar keh raha tha "aalu lelo aalu !

Jerry Bola, par yaar yeh to jalebi hain....

TOM, chup sale warna makhiyan aa jayengi....

++++ Confident lines on a "WINE SHOP Board....

"MEN who love a girl truely, will one day Love Me 2.......

++++

SMS TO BE FORWARDED !!!

dIFFERENT STYLES OF gOOD nIGHT

Dad : Gd ngt son,

Frnd - Gd ngt yaar,

Lover - Gd ngt Jaanu,

But

MOM - " So ja kanjra, phone wali maa naal gallan swere kar liyo...."
Mom always know ......

TOm ko vodafone me operator ki job mili

1st din use maar padi

2nd day use nikal diya gaya becz 1st caller : mere vodafone ka sim block ho gaya hai....

TOM : to pagal Airtel ka kharid le....

A little bird was flying back home in winter, d bird froze & fell 2 d ground. A cow came by & dropped some dung on it. D bird began 2 realize how warm it was & soon began 2 sing wid joy. A passing cat heard d bird singing & dug d bird out, cleaned it & ate it.....

Lesson 2 learn :

1. Not everyone who drops shit on u is ur enemy.
2. Not everone who gets u out of shit is ur friend &
3. Wen u r in deep shit, keep ur mouth shut.....

1 din 1 lady shop pe TOTA kharidne gayi......

Lady - iski kya khasiyat hai ?

Dukandaar : ye bolta hai ?

Lady ne tote se pucha - main kaisi lagti hun ?

Tota : JUGAAD

Lady dukandaar se : ye toh bada badtameez hai !!

Dukandaar : Tote ko andar le gaya aur pani me duba k pucha - bol sale ab gali dega ?

Tota : Nahi kabhie Nahi dunga.

Wo use bahar le aaya aur lady se kaha ab puchiye, gali nahi dega?

Lady tote se - agar mere ghar pe 1 aadmi aye to tum kya sochoge?
Tota - aapka pati hai.

Lady - agar 2 ?
Tota - aapka pati aur devar ?

Lady - agar 3 ?
Tota - pati, devar, bhai.

lady - agar 4?
Tota - pani le aao maine to pehle hi kaha tha JUGAAD hai"

SMS & MORE SMS

{{{{{{Boy: Jaan main tumhe Bangla, Car, Sone ka Haar dila dunga

Girl : Ye Batao, shaam ko park aa rahe ho yaa nahi.

Boy : Agar mummy ne Auto ka kiraya dia to aa jaunga ....!!! }}}}}}}

{{{{{Bus Chali Jhatka Laga Santa Ladki pe jaa gira,

Ladki boli - Battmeez kya kar rahe ho ?

Santa Bola: ji punjab university se B.Com Kar raha hoon.... }}}}}}

{{{{{{ Girl: Plz mere husband ko andar bula lijiye

Doctor : Ghabrao nahi main ek sharif aadmi hun.....

Girl : Aap samjhe nahi, bahar aapki nurse aakeli hai.... }}}}}}

{{{{{ Luck is not in ur hands but decision is in ur hands.

ur decision can make luck but luck can't make ur decision...

So always trust urself....!!! }}}}}}}}}

{{{{ BIG B in KBC : In which state river Ganga flows?

Santa: Liquid State....

Audience clapped laudly...

Amitabh was stunned ... He looks behind, all were Englishmen.... }}}}}

{{{{{ Nothing is old nothing is new, just a matter of point of view, enjoy life as happy days r few, becz, if life is ocean, happy moments r like dew. }}}}}}

{{{Attitude is a little thing which makes a big difference in life, But it shld be like I'm not d best,
But I'm not like the rest }}}}}}}}}

{{{{Frnd is 1 who forgives u say before u say sorry....

understandz when U say I forget....

waits 4ever whn u say 1 min & stays wth u whn u say leave me alone .......}}}}}

{{{{{{Saawdhaan
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Vishraam....

26th jan nazdik aa raha hai....

practice chalu rakho...
"Jai Hind"
"Jai Bharat"}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

{{{{{{{{{{{Absence is d best presence......

Becz if people r absent den u miss them & if u miss dem dat means dey r present in ur heart }}}}}}

{{{{{{{Funny but true...
Dis generation boys & girls get into love becz of misunderstanding ...

& break up when dey understand each other.......}}}}}}}\

{{{{{ Teeth said 2 tounge: "If I just press u a little, u will get cut."
Tounge replied: "if i misuse 1 word against someone, then all 32 of u will come out."}}}}}}}

{{{{{Our brilliant TOM has done again....

Teacher : Which is ur favourite dish?

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TOM : TATA SKY......!!!! }}}}}}}}}

{{{{{{{{{{{Santa sabji lene gaya.....
Sabji wala sabji per pani chidak raha tha...

Santa intezar karta raha jab kafi der ho gayi to bola - Agar inhe hosh aa gaya ho to 1 kilo tol do.....}}}}}}}}

{{{{{{{{{{Kavita likh rahi hu...... tujhe na thi mere pyaar ki khabar......

wah wah....

tujhe na thi mere pyaar ki khabar

ila kavita to galat ho gayi , rubber de rubber..... wah wah wah wah !!!!! }}}}}}

{{{{{kehne ko hamare paas shabd nahi hai, bhejne ko hamare paas naya SMS nahi hai par dil me 1 baat zaroor hai, "apna khyal rakhna" hamare paas aap jaise doston ki kafi kami hai....}}}}}}

{{{{ 1 day i will leave d world, & never come back.....

My frnds will cry when dey will see my number....
they will miss me when dey sit 2gether, won't be able 2 hear my laugh & voice ever again....
There will be no more ME 2 irritate, tease, make them laugh, & say sorry stupidly....

I won't call by all d stupid names I do.....

tears might flow out of eyes, but i will be gone, long & 4ever.....

SO ENJOY MY COMPANY AS MUCH B4 I CLOSE MY EYES 4EVER....}}}}}}}}}

{{{{{ TEACHER : Bacho kasam lo ki daru, cigrate or ladkiyon se dur rahoge or desh ke liye jaan doge....

BOYS: de denge sir, ab aisi zindagi ka karenge bhi kya..... }}}}}

{{{{{Na guzarna id ke din kisi Masjid ke pass se, kahin log chand samjhkar apna Roja na tod de, aur hoke khafa Khuda aapse, kahi Khoobsoorat LOG banane na chod de.......}}}}}

{{{{Height of Courage

Senior student during ragging says : I ur marriage i will kiss ur Wife....

Junior : Fine but i will marry ur sister ....
"le ab le le pappi }}}}}}}}

{{{{ ARZ KIYA HAI :
Rajwade me ud rahe the hathi, rajwade me ud rahe the hathi,
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itne dhyan se kya padh rahe ho DEHATI ......

kabhie dekha hai udhta hua....HAATHI ????? }}}}

{{{{ Yaad karo apne wo beete din,

barsaat mein sadko pe nahana......

chhote chotte bachon k khilone chheen k bhaag jaana,

naak aaye to rumal ke bajay hath se muh par failana.....

aur aakhir me ghar k bahar khade hokar nikkar se makhiyaan udate hue chilana....
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MUmmyyyyyyy ....
"KAR DE DHO DHO......." }}}}}

{{{{ True Fact :

Waqt per aadat na badli to wo Zarurat - E - Life ban jati hai,

Or agar waqt per Girl Friend na badli to wo WIFE ban jaati hai.......}}}}

{{{{Autowala : Sahab 30 Rs. hue...

TOM: Ye le 15 Rs.

Autowala: Ye to beymani hai...

TOM : abe beymani kaisi, tu bhi to baith k aaya hai, aadha tu de.... }}}}}

{{{{{ Sweet Insult :

1 ladka gadhe ke saamne gir gaya....

1 khubsurat ladki ne dekha aur kaha, "Apne bade bhai k pair chhu rahe ho ????

"ladka bola, " Ji Bhabhiji...... }}}}}

{{{{ Mausam badla Thand ho gaiu Aapke msg ke bina zindagi tang ho gai kya aapke Inbox me msg ki kami ho gayi ya fir hamare msg padhkar bolti band ho gai.....}}}}}

{{{{ Chandni raat alvida keh rahi hai,

Thandi si hawa dastak de rahi hai,

Utha kar dekho najar ko jara,

pyaari si subah aapko "good Morning" keh rahi hai......}}}}