One day Joe complained to his friend "My elbow really hurts. I guess Ishould go to the doctor". His friend replied, "Don't do that, there is acomputer at the chemist's that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaperthan a doctor. Just put in a sample of your urine and the computer willdiagnose your problem and tell you what to do about it. It only costs $10.00".Joe figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urinesample and deposited the $10.00. The computer started making some noisesand various lights started flashing. After a brief pause, out popped asmall slip of paper on which was printed:YOU HAVE TENNIS ELBOW. SOAK YOUR ARM IN WARM WATER. AVOID HEAVY LABOR. IT WILL BE BETTER IN TWO WEEKS. Later that evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it could change medical science forever, he wondered if this machine could be fooled and decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tapwater, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from hiswife and daughter. To top it off, he splitted into the concoction. He went back to the pharmacy, located the machine, poured in the sampleand deposited $10.00. The machine again made the usual noise and printedout the following analysis:
YOUR TAP WATER IS TOO HARD - GET A WATER SOFTENER.
YOUR DOG HAS WORMS - GIVE HIM VITAMINS.
YOUR DAUGHTER IS USING COCAINE - PUT HER IN REHAB.
YOUR WIFE IS PREGNANT WITH TWINS, THEY ARE NOT YOURS - GET A LAWYER.
AND IF YOU DON'T STOP JERKING OFF, YOUR ELBOW WILL NEVER GET BETTER
YOUR TAP WATER IS TOO HARD - GET A WATER SOFTENER.
YOUR DOG HAS WORMS - GIVE HIM VITAMINS.
YOUR DAUGHTER IS USING COCAINE - PUT HER IN REHAB.
YOUR WIFE IS PREGNANT WITH TWINS, THEY ARE NOT YOURS - GET A LAWYER.
AND IF YOU DON'T STOP JERKING OFF, YOUR ELBOW WILL NEVER GET BETTER